Love Is... (Part Three)

Today I'm featured on Jessica's blog, the first blog where I ever placed an ad. A large BIENVENUE to all of her readers visiting me today. This blog post is my latest in a never-ending series on love. Follow these links to read parts one and two.

My boyfriend visiting me on the weekends, even when I have to work at JCP Friday, Saturday, and Sunday... Plus Labor Day.

My boyfriend sending me links to funny videos to cheer me up when I'm sad.

My boyfriend writing a guest post for my blog.

Me spending my precious, limited free time driving an hour plus away to the track to watch my boyfriend do his high performance driving. 

Me spending more of my precious, limited free time driving an hour plus away from the track to watch his co-worker race on a dirt track.

Me waking up at 6:30am, thus not getting to sleep in on my only free morning all week, to drive back to the track with my boyfriend since we only took one car the night before from the track.

My boyfriend filling up my tank with gas AND giving me extra gas money because of all the driving we did in my car.

My boyfriend making me breakfast in bed practically every weekend.

Basically, my boyfriend and I are very lucky to have found each other. 

♥ We both try to put the other first whenever possible. ♥

Celebrating One Hundred (And One) Blog Followers!

This summer has been great for my blog numbers. I think posting to the subreddit /bigboobproblems, writing about modesty, and working with Casey were my biggest contributors to my strong numbers.

I know numbers aren't everything, but they're nice. Very nice.

One of my goals on my list of 101 Things in 1001 Days was to reach 100 blog followers. Although some people like to add up their followers from facebook (13), twitter (585), instagram (68), bloglovin (56), Google+ (15), and GFC (101) and spout out some really big number, the truth is those categories overlap. 

So I couldn't just take my followers from bloglovin and my followers on GFC and celebrate when I reached 100 total. It wouldn't actually be 100 people.

But I recently hit 100 followers via GFC, and I wanted to celebrate! I even received an email from my 100th follower, Paulina at Color Me Brave.

Using the crayon function on Paint.

Mixing it up with the marker on Paint.

I officially have over 100 people following my blog in a single way. That totally counts as having 100 blog followers. 

My next goal is to reach 30 likes on facebook so I can access my statistics. So... like me on facebook?

Victim-Blaming: A Guest Post

Two weekends ago, I worked Friday, Saturday, and Sunday at JCP. Because my boyfriend loves me, he still spent the weekend with me. And because he really loves me, he surprised me with a clean apartment, multiple home-cooked meals, and a blog post.

Hi, it’s me, Beau... I know I haven’t written a guest post in a LOOOOONG time (sorry for being all Mel Brooks and never making a part II). But while Belle is working her second job today, and between that and spending time with me doesn’t have time to blog, I am looking for ways to help her out. Way number 1 was me doing some laundry and washing her sheets (hey, they are dirty and at least half my fault). While I was down there stuffing sheets and towels into the washer--and hoping I chose the right cycle--I noticed a bulletin on the wall (conveniently located under Belle’s pleading for the return of her sexy panties [which I miss by the way]). After reading said bulletin, I couldn’t help but to compare it with another bulletin posted throughout the building. I am posting both bulletins here for your consideration (sorry for the crappy phone camera quality). I have removed some key information to protect the innocent. Please read them before continuing... I’ll wait.

Let me preface (or midface if you prefer) this blog post a bit. You all are aware of Belle’s fight against victim blaming. What you may not have caught is that I have not always been on her side on this issue. As a logical individual who is all about dealing with consequences and being self-reliant, I have at times in the past engaged in what I now know to be victim blaming... Sad story, but as someone who has seen the light (pardon all of the religious metaphors coming from an atheist), I now find it necessary to point out the message that hit home with me in these two bulletins. Which happens to be way number 2 I figured out how to give her a helping hand this weekend...

Casting Call for Virgins. I'm Not Kidding.

So I just received an email from a casting agency looking for virgins for a new documentary for MTV.

At first I thought it was a scam. I mean... really? MTV is interested in the lives of virgins?

So I googled the domain of the dude's email address. 

It looks legit.

I have two thoughts in regards to this.

1) I like that virginity is being discussed more often in pop culture, especially outside of Purity Culture and outside of the "desperate to lose it" genre.

2) Do I think MTV will manage to pull off a documentary that doesn't exploit its participants?

Uhh...

Reality TV isn't real. A documentary like this will probably not be all that sensitive. 

But the decision to participate or not isn't up to me. 

It's up to you. You being a virgin who meets the show's requirements.

So I've copied and pasted the relevant info below, just in case you want to be the next Reality TV Star.

No judging here. I would totally win Big Brother if I got on that show.

Also let's not forget that Beau and I are already in an awesome documentary on virginity, How to Lose Your Virginity. 

-------------------------------------------------

Are you a VIRGIN?

For the first time, a completely honest show… about being a virgin.

MTV is now casting individuals who have not had sex – either by choice or circumstance - in a documentary-style show that will follow you on your experiences and life as a virgin.

We’re looking outgoing, expressive and passionate young adults who appear to be between the ages of 18-24 from all over to document the pressures, struggles, and benefits of being a virgin in America today.

Whether you plan to remain a virgin until marriage, or are just waiting for the right person; whether you’re motivated by a personal or religious commitment to purity, or you’re comfortable with some sexuality... but haven’t gone all the way; whether you feel pressure to keep your virginity, or to lose it as fast as possible – we want to hear from you.

If you’re a virgin and feel like your story MUST be told, we want to hear from you ASAP!

To submit, please provide the following to

mtvdoc@lescasting.com

NOTE: PARTICIPANTS MUST BE AT LEAST 18 YEARS OF AGE

- Name & Age (Participants must be 18 years of age.)

- Contact Number(s)

- E-mail Address & Facebook

- Attach two RECENT photos of yourself.

- Briefly tell us about your day-to-day life and your story as a virgin.

Top 5 Reasons I Am Not a Lifestyle Blogger

A very welcome BONJOUR, Y’ALL to the friends of Casey who might be reading my blog for the first time. I’m very excited to be “sponsoring” y’all know that’s just a fancy blogger word for advertising Casey again this month. I loved working with her before, and when she announced her new format, featuring just two bloggers a week, I knew I had to paste my button to her sidebar once again.

I haven’t read the glowing review Casey gave me just yet, I’m assuming it’s glowing but y’all probably figured out at some point that my blog isn’t exactly like other blogs.

The all-encompassing word for all-encompassing blogs is lifestyle. Not quite a fashion blogger, not quite a beauty blogger, not quite a insert-faith-group-here blogger… When you blog about it all, you’re a lifestyle blogger.

That’s not me.

I'm the blogger who tries to take a picture with every bronze animal at every zoo.

I mean, yeah, sometimes I blog about clothes and nail polish. Sometimes I blog about my faith. I definitely blog about my relationship. These are characteristics of lifestyle bloggers, right?

Except that’s so not me. In fact, I’ve even compiled a list of why I’m totally not a lifestyle blogger.

Throwback Thursday: My First Kiss (A Reblog and a Link up)

So I have it on good authority that you can repost old blog posts, especially if they're from your blog's tentative, awkward beginning when no one was reading it.

This summer, Bonnie has been hosting a weekly linkup called Throwback Thursday. It's been really cute, but I honestly haven't felt that inspired by any of the topics, partly because all my old pictures are in my childhood home a million miles away. Aka my parents' house in the South.

But today's topic is on first kisses, and I totally blogged about that almost two years ago exactly. So today I am joining all the cool kids with Throwback Thursday to tell you about my first ever kiss!

 

The first time I kissed a boy I was 19.

I know what you're thinking. “No wonder she's a virgin...”

I even looked like a 19-year-old virgin, in my virginal white debutante gown.*

I wanted my first kiss to be special. So many of my friends had random, inconsequential first kisses, often with guys who didn't care about them. I have a twin brother, and he was quite the ladies' man in high school. I heard plenty of stories about his conquests (and those of his friends). We were young and immature and if a naïve girl fell for him after her first kiss, well, c'est la vie. He might have broken quite a few hearts on the path to graduation, but at least he saved mine by sharing his wild tales. I refused to be another statistic, another notch on the bedpost, whatever. My first kiss was going to mean something, damn it, even if I had to wait a long time.

I'm so glad I waited.

I was home for Easter break my sophomore year of undergrad. Joe*, my best guy friend of five years, was spending the weekend with us, and I hadn't seen him since Christmas, I think. One night, after a nice family dinner out, he and I were hanging out, just the two of us. The rest of my family had all gone to bed. Joe and I watched some stupid reruns on late night TV. Then we looked up stupid things on wikipedia. We've always been very comfortable physically around each other, so we were just being silly and elbowing each other and borderline cuddling on and off for hours.

We started calming down around 2am or 3am. We were sitting on the couch together, and he laid down. I laid down next to him, and he just held me for a few minutes. Both of us were half-asleep at this point, and I teased him for falling asleep on me. I could see where this was heading, so I took my glasses off under some transparent guise. We were still talking quietly, and he started softly stroking my back. We were flirting, and sometimes I would touch his face. I started playing with the hair at the nape of his neck, and he kissed me.

… … …

We finally stopped around 5am, rather hot and sweaty at that point. My shirt was unbuttoned, my bra was shoved down, and my skirt was bunched around my waist.

My first kiss was a two-hour make out session. Yeah, it was still just hooking up, but it was with my best friend. I don't regret it at all. I was with someone I loved, someone I trusted. And it was hot. ;)

So why would I rush into sex? I waited for my first kiss, and it was everything I'd anticipated and more.

*My debutante photos are scanned copies of the small preview shots we received, so they're not perfect. If you would like the name of the photographer, that information is available upon request. He is very well-known in my home state, but since he's local to my hometown, I'd rather not divulge this information unless necessary.

Six Things

The other day, Casey posted her answers to six questions posed to her by a fellow blogger. She tagged Betsy at the end of her blog post to do the same. Then Betsy turned around and tagged me with six new questions! Clearly I have to play along.

Tell us about a situation that ended with you feeling really proud of yourself.
I've done a lot of cool things that make me proud. Graduating third in my high school class, working in France, interning with my sorority. But you know, sometimes it's the little things that matter the most. I au paired in New York/Toronto for ten months, taking care of three French kids, including a ten-year-old boy. When I started the job, he made a lot of casually sexist comments. Nothing cruel--just the little thoughtless things kids tend to say, like, "Girls don't like sports." After ten months with me, he prefaced any observation about boys or girls with disclaimers, avoiding accidental sexism, saying things like, "In my experience, with the fifth grade girls in my class, but not necessarily with all girls..." I'm still proud of that.

I always leave conversations thinking, "Oh man, I wish I had said that witty comeback but I came up with it too late!"  When was the last time it happened to you?
This has definitely happened to me, but I honestly can't remember the last time.

Someone is giving you a full scholarship and a stipend to get a degree in anything, anywhere you want.  Where would you go and what would you study?
This is such a great question!!! Since this is a dream situation anyway, I'm assuming that any school I want will offer any degree I want. I would clearly get my Ph.D. in Feminist Biblical Studies from the University of Oxford, in England. And I would clearly take a summer session (or several summer sessions) studying Jeanne d'Arc and other French religious women at the Sorbonne in Paris.

What did you want to be when you grew up?
The first woman president of the United States. A world-famous author. A teacher. A lawyer. A history professor.

If you could be a fictional character, who would it be?
Hermione. Obviously.

What actor would you choose to play you in a movie about your life?
Um, clearly I would star as myself in the movie about my life. But if the movie is about me in high school, and it happens when I'm too old to pass for 16, then I would want the hottest Disney star to play me.

Now it's my turn to pass on the fun!!! I'm tagging:

Bonnie at The Life of Bon

Dana at As Told By Dana

Elle at Elle Sees

Emily at Hopeful Wandering

Lauren at Our Crazy Ever After

• What's the most valuable advice you ever received?
• Describe the exact opposite of you.
• What was your most successful cooking/crafting dish/project?
• What's your favorite classic Disney film and your favorite DCOM? (Mine are 101 Dalmatians and HSM3).
• If you could guest-star on any current TV show, what show would it be and what would be your role?
• If you were an activist, what would be your cause?

Even if I didn't tag you, I'd love to see your answers! Feel free to share your own Six Things. 

To learn more about me, read about who I am or meet Belle!

Love Is... (Part 2)

July 29th was the two-year anniversary of my first date with Beau. Although our relationship anniversary isn't until October, it's still fun to think back to our first date.

August 4th was the two-year anniversary of my first kiss (and second date) with Beau.

Two weeks ago, I was working all weekend while Beau was at the track (he's really into cars). That Sunday night, Beau stayed with me because he had to work nearby on Monday (the 29th). He took me out to dinner at the hibachi restaurant where we ate on our second date. I thought that was really romantic, especially since I was closing at JCP the next night, so we couldn't really celebrate.

Monday night, we enjoyed an oh-so-romantic dinner in the mall food court. Beau asked me what he could do for me while I worked, and I asked him if he would mind doing all my dishes.

I worked until 10:30pm and arrived home at 11pm, exhausted.

I walked into my apartment and dropped my jaw.

Beau had cleaned the entire apartment. He had washed my dishes and cleaned the kitchen. He had swiffered and vaccuumed the floors. He had organized all my piles of stuff. 

In the middle of the freshly-cleared-off table, a bouquet of two dozen pink roses waited for me.

With a funny anniversary card telling me the last two years have been the best of Beau's life.

With a P.S. There's champagne in the fridge.

And just in case I had wanted Sleepytime tea instead of champagne, Beau had heated up my tea kettle as well.

Beau demonstrates his love for me every day, with both grandiose gestures like for our anniversary, and in little ways, like reading my blog.

I'm the luckiest woman in the world.

My Bikini Answer: All Women Cannot Prevent the Lust of All Men

I obviously have a lot of THOUGHTS and FEELINGS on bikinis and modesty. For now, however, I want to stick with criticizing the original piece that started this year’s modesty shitstorm. I realize that at this point, I’m writing two months after the original article. Sorry, y’all, but I am not paid to blog, and as much as I love writing, I love writing well even more, which means that it takes time to organize all my thoughts coherently.

I mentioned a shitstorm, right? Yeah, the evangelical and/or feminist blogosphere has gone crazy this summer (like it does every summer…) talking about bikinis and modesty. Although each voice is slightly different, on both sides of the argument, I see one common theme throughout the pro-modesty bloggers/commenters, one that is present in the original post.

So why don’t you just wear a bikini, you ask? Why? Because I am making a sacrifice for the guys around me. I’ve heard the excuse, Guys just have an imagination, it’s not a girl’s problem. Frankly, I think that’s stupid. Part of it is our problem. The way we dress impacts those around us, especially guys. I don’t really want a guy to look at me and notice me for my butt, upper thighs, or chest. I’d rather him notice my smile or God-loving personality. Well sure, you say, that’s all fine and good, but guys should be able to control their imagination and look beyond our bodies. That’s true, they should control it. But it’s important for girls to help them as they try and do so…

This is how I imagine it is for guys. Girls are walking around all the time with barely any clothes on at the beach or pool! Guys can never get a break from it, even if they’re trying to see past all the bodies to find the smiles and personalities within the girls.

So really, how hard is it to not wear a bikini? If you’re like me, it might be a little disappointing... Let’s make a commitment this summer to ditch the skimpy swimsuits, earn self respect, and help our brothers in Christ.

The original article never refers to scripture, but the comments and other blogs are all quick to quote Romans 14 as justification for women covering up their bodies. The overall message is: Yes, men are responsible for their own lust, but women need to help them out by covering up.

Seriously, if one more person tells me I’m a “stumbling block” for men, I’ll give up clothes forever and join a nudist colony.

Let’s examine Romans 14 together. The entire chapter is relevant, so you should pull that up in a separate window. I’m just going to quote the part that is popular on the Interwebz.

Romans 14: 20-21 (NRSV) 20 Do not, for the sake of food, destroy the work of God. Everything is indeed clean, but it is wrong for you to make others fall by what you eat; 21 it is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that makes your brother or sister stumble.

One more common point by the pro-modesty crowd. Many of them offer the analogy of an alcoholic. Would you serve alcohol to your friend who’s a recovering alcoholic? No, because you don’t want to tempt him to sin, even if drinking alcohol isn’t sinful for you.

Should I give up champagne forever just in case I run into an alcoholic?

The original bikini post, the horrible misinterpretation of Romans 14, and the alcoholic analogy all share a fatal flaw: