Friday, June 27, 2014

Book Club Friday: Review and Giveaway of Lucky Us by Amy Bloom

So far I'm on track with my Summer Book Challenge. Every book I've read this summer has contributed to the challenge categories. Since my recap at the beginning of the month, I've read American Savage: Insights, Slights, and Fights on Faith, Sex, Love, and Politics, with "sex" being my chosen antonym to "abstinence" (A is for Abstinence by Kelly Oram!).  

My latest read is Lucky Us by Amy Bloom, in bookstores on July 29th. I was lucky enough to receive an ARC of the novel in exchange for my honest review.*

Official book summary: “My father’s wife died. My mother said we should drive down to his place and see what might be in it for us.”
So begins the story of teenage half sisters Eva and Iris in this brilliantly written, deeply moving, and fantastically funny novel by the beloved and critically acclaimed author of Away. Disappointed by their families, Iris, the hopeful star, and Eva, the sidekick, journey across 1940s America in search of fame and fortune. Iris’s ambitions take the sisters from small-town Ohio to an unexpected and sensuous Hollywood, across the America of Reinvention in a stolen station wagon, to the jazz clubs and golden mansions of Long Island. With their friends in high and low places, Iris and Eva stumble and shine through a landscape of big dreams, scandals, betrayals, and war. Filled with memorable characters and unexpected turns, Lucky Us is a thrilling and resonant novel about success and failure, good luck and bad, and the pleasures and inevitable perils of family life. From Brooklyn’s beauty parlors to London’s West End, these unforgettable people love, lie, cheat, and survive in this story of our fragile, absurd, heroic species.

Based on the description, I was expecting another kind of book. I thought more of the focus would be on Iris's quest for stardom. Even so, I LOVED this book. 

The characters are deeply flawed, but in a very human way. The father is selfish and aimless. Iris is ruthless in pursuit of both stardom and love. Eva is a colorless character, lacking her own personality and dreams.

But Lucky Us is, in many ways, a coming-of-age novel not just for Eva, but for Iris and even their father as well. Each character (eventually) grows and matures in their own way. 

While other reviews have not liked the use of letters to introduce new chapters, I disagree. I think that's a personal stylistic preference, but I like the mixing of letters and prose. If you tend to skim chapter titles, though, just realize that some of the letters are marked as never sent. So while we get to read the character's thoughts in the letter, the recipient never had the chance to read it. 

So far, I have avoided spoilers in my review, but I want to include a few small spoilers to explain my favorite parts of the novel. You have been warned.

Iris is a lesbian. Despite the book's setting against the backdrop of WWII, Iris's same-sex attraction and relationships with women are completely accepted by the few people allowed to know. Of course, it is a scandal when a photographer catches Iris having sex on the beach with a big Hollywood star who then betrays Iris and has the rising starlet blacklisted from the town. 

I won't say the most despicable or even the second-most despicable thing that Iris later does for love, but they are pretty horrible and eventually cause a long-lasting rift with Eva. 

Due to the generosity of Random House, one lucky reader will win a copy of Lucky Us! Sadly, this is only open to US readers. Alas. Enter using the Rafflecopter below!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

*I received both a book and a gift card in exchange for my honest review.

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Wedding Wednesday: The Demi-Vièrge Wore White

Why I wore a short white satin dress on my wedding day

Contrary to popular belief, brides wearing white on their wedding day has nothing to do with virginity. Of course, Americans tend to rewrite history all the time, so I'm not that surprised that the average person assumes the white wedding dress has something to do with "sexual purity." In reality, Queen Victoria started a new fashion trend among the elite when she opted to wear an off-white wedding dress in 1840. Or at least, she eventually popularized a trend that was already rising among the very wealthy.

Queen Victoria in her famous white wedding dress
From this really awesome article, "Queen Victoria's Wedding Dress: The One That Started It All."
Long before Victoria, white was a popular choice for wedding dresses, at least among the wealthy nobility... Weddings were usually more about political alliances and transfers of wealth than they were about romance, and so the wedding dress was just another excuse to show the wealth and culture of the brides family... Before the invention of effective bleaching techniques, white was a valued colour: it was both difficult to achieve, and hard to maintain. Wealthy brides, then, often wore white to demonstrate their money, not their purity.
In order to stimulate and support the lace industry [struggling due to industrialization], Victoria chose for her wedding dress a large piece of handmade Honiton lace... The rest of the dress then became a vehicle to showcase the lace, and white was chosen as the most suitable colour to do this. In the case of Victoria’s dress, white symbolised practicality and patriotism, rather than purity.
So if a white dress didn't actually represent my virginal status, why did everyone's favorite demi-vièrge choose to wear one?

I didn't always intend to wear a white wedding dress. When I was a kid, I told my parents I wanted to get married in a rainbow-colored wedding dress. In high school, when I wore a big pink poofy princess dress in the Junior Miss pageant, I told the other girls that I wanted to get married in it. 

But after my debutante ball, I assumed I would just wear my debutante dress again. Spending a lot of money on two formal white dresses to wear one time only just didn't make sense to me, and I LOVED my debutante dress. So why wouldn't I wear it to get married?
I wore a floor-length, formal wedding dress to my debutante ball
One of my formal debutante portraits

Friday, June 20, 2014

Book Club Friday: American Savage

One of my successful goals of my birthday weekend was to spend a lot of time reading, preferably a book from my Summer Book Challenge. While I couldn't find my original choice of Dan Savage's The Commitment: Love, Sex, Marriage, and My Family at my local elibrary, I was able to check out a copy of American Savage: Insights, Slights, and Fights on Faith, Sex, Love, and Politics.

book review of Dan Savage's latest collection of essays
From Amazon: On the heels of his Emmy-winning It Gets Better campaign, columnist and provocateur Dan Savage weighs in on such diverse issues as healthcare, gun control, and marriage equality with characteristic straight talk and humor.

Dan Savage is famous--and to some, infamous--for many reasons. To name just a few: he's the author of America's leading sex advice column, the frank and expletive-filled "Savage Love;" co-founder of the Emmy Award-winning "It Gets Better Project," a YouTube campaign aimed at LGBT youth that swept the globe in 2010; and he wrote the groundbreaking 1999 memoir The Kid about adopting a son with his partner (now husband) Terry, which helped inspire same-sex couples nationwide to adopt.

Dan has long been an advocate for marriage equality and LGBT rights, and AMERICAN SAVAGE contains some of his most personal and reflective essays on those subjects to date.

The Beautiful: Dan's chapter on his mother and Catholicism made me cry, several times, in fact. It was raw and honest and much more emotional than I was expecting. 

The Awesome: Everything on the Bible and homophobia and bullying and "the Bible got slavery wrong, so maybe it got human sexuality wrong" is just awesome. Kudos.

The Rage-Inducing: WTF are you doing blaming biphobia on bisexual people?! Are you fucking kidding me?! Maybe instead of telling us to come out more, completely ignoring the fact that we deal with the same conservative families and religions that piss on gay and lesbian people, with the added bonus of gays and lesbians pissing on us, you should tell gay and lesbian teenagers and 20-somethings to stop calling themselves bisexual. It's not the fault of the bisexual community that some gay people use our sexual orientation as a stepping stone to admitting their own sexual orientation. And even if they DO decide to do that, we need to take people at their word when they label themselves.  

Overall, it was fast and interesting read, filled with excellent footnotes and academic citations. He backs up much of what he says with outside sources, which made this nerd very happy. 

*Why yes, that's an Amazon Affiliate link on the book picture 

Thursday, June 19, 2014

More Cheap Ebooks from Summer Book Crush!

I bought five books during last year's event, and I really enjoyed them! I can't wait to snag a few new fluffy teen reads this summer! This is a sponsored-ish post, like last year's post, because I have a chance to win a gift card, but I am genuinely excited to buy some new books for only $0.99 each!

What would you say to over 80 titles with many undeniably-hot BOOK BOYFRIENDS that leave you wanting more? Yep, we've got you covered. The second annual SUMMER BOOK CRUSH event runs this year from June 19th through June 22nd. Don't miss it, or you will have to wait a full year for the next one!

main banner2

So many ways to fall in love with just a right BOOK BOYFRIEND! And the best part? You can purchase your dream Book Boyfriend for only 99¢ each, but for a limited time only.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Yet Another Virgin Casting Call--Too Bad I'm No Longer a Virgin!

So apparently I'm the go-to person for virgin documentaries and reality TV shows. Alas, since I'm an old married lady and all, I no longer qualify for casting calls for virgin productions. 

But if YOU are a virgin, and you are interested in a weekend-long intimacy retreat, then keep reading!

  • You are part of a couple in a committed long-term relationship
  • You and/or your partner is a virgin
  • You have not yet consummated your relationship
  • You are both Americans
Each couple will have the opportunity to go on a weekend-long, all expenses paid, intimacy retreat with world renowned Christian relationship experts who will help you and your significant other work together on your journey. Whether you have chosen abstinence for spiritual, medical, or emotional reasons, we will work with two committed people who are interested in taking the next steps in their relationship. 

The goal of this retreat and the ultimate series is to build a strong foundation as each couple embarks on a new and exciting chapter. If you would like the chance to work with the best sexual therapists in the country to enhance your emotional and physical life with your partner, this opportunity is for you.

For more information, or to talk to a casting director, email 

There are no guarantees that this will be half as good as the documentary How to Lose Your Virginity, but who isn't interested in a free romantic weekend retreat?

Monday, June 16, 2014

Using Sex Addiction as a Motive for Sex: A Guest Post

The following is a guest post by Saint Jude Retreats, a non-12 step non-treatment alternative to traditional drug and alcohol rehab. The program concentrates on self-directed positive neuroplastic change and positive self-change as an alternative to traditional alcohol and drug treatment. 

Are you currently in a relationship and thinking about having sex for the first time? Determining when you’re truly ready to lose your virginity or sleep with a new partner for the first time can be stressful. Various thoughts may race through your head such as, “Will I be good?”, “Is he more experienced than I?”, “Is it time?”, “Am I ready for all this?” The situation can be further complicated if the other person is putting pressure on you to engage in sex before you’re ready to do so.

Some men or women use tactics to make sex sound more appealing to an apprehensive partner, including substances like drugs and alcohol. You may have dated a guy that has given you every line in the book to try to convince you that you’re ready. I once dated a man who proclaimed that he was a sex addict. He had shared this with me after I continued to say no to him time after time. I’m not sure if he was truly “addicted to sex” or it was just another manipulation tactic to try to get me to sleep with him. The comments didn’t stop there either. He eventually started to make me feel bad for him. He explained that his sexual desires and compulsions were out of his control and he couldn’t help but want to engage in sexual behaviors. More importantly, he told me he couldn’t be with me unless I gave into his frequent compulsions.

After a few weeks of going back and forth with him, I began investigating the topic of sex addiction because, while I truly did enjoy dating him, it was hard for me to move beyond the constant pressure to engage in something I wasn’t really ready for.

So what did I discover? Unfortunately not much that could justify his claims. I couldn’t find a general consensus that sex addiction was truly a disease. In fact, I learned that medical doctors and psychologists find it hard to link sex addiction to any sort of disease or disorder. This is largely due to the fact that scientific studies fail to prove the addiction theory which is regularly used by treatment centers for alcoholism or drug cases.[1] The addiction theory promotes powerlessness of emotions and behaviors and this simply can’t be linked to sex addiction.[1]

As of 2014, sex addiction does not meet the requirements to be added to the official list of psychiatric disorders determined by the American Psychiatric Association. [2]  Like most “addictions,” it seems that sex addiction is a behavior that was linked to a high sexual desire. After reading study after study, I came to the conclusion that sex was something that made him happy and he liked doing. In some instances, he was using sex as a way to become happier in areas of his life that he was lacking in or unhappy with. That was his way of dealing, but not something that I could compromise my life for.

Ultimately our relationship did not last due to the fact that I was not ready to have sex with him at the level and frequency he wanted. He was a kind person but that wasn’t going to change my mind. However, I used this experience as a life lesson. I learned that my body is sacred and I’m not going to compromise my feelings, integrity, or beliefs for anyone, even if they make me feel guilty or sorry for them. The relationship taught me a true lesson in consensual sex which I try to pass on to as many women as possible. If you aren’t ready for sex, regardless if you’re a virgin or not, you have to right and the power to say no. Moving forward, you will be happier that you waited for a man that respects you wholly and finds you irresistible because you stayed true to who you are.


[1]Grubbs, J., Exline, J., Pargament, K., Hook, J., & Carlisle, R. (2014). "Transgression as Addiction: Religiosity and Moral Disapproval as Predictors of Perceived Addiction to Pornography". Archives of Sexual Behavior. online first. doi:10.1007/s10508-013-0257-z.

[2]Gonzalez, R. (2013, July 24). New study suggests sexual addiction is not actually an addiction. Retrieved from

Saturday, June 14, 2014

Love is for Better, for Worse

12 weeks ago today, my husband and I stood before God and our family and exchanged our wedding vows. 

This past week has definitely been a challenge, but Beau exhibited his love for me every single day.

My birthday was Sunday. I was sick. My husband and I left the bed & breakfast early. At home we discovered an ant infestation, and I freaked out. My dear sweet husband insisted I go upstairs and shower while he took care of all the ants. 

Early Monday morning, my fever was so bad that I was shaking uncontrollably in a desperate attempt to get warm. I couldn't stop shaking. Beau and I were both scared, and he insisted on driving me to the ER. Some Tylenol, some IV fluids, and many tests later, the ER doctor discharged me with the conclusion that I had a viral infection. I slept the rest of the day. Beau came home from work with treats for me: ginger ale, apple sauce, and red Popsicles. 

Monday night, my mom called me to let me know her mom, my sole surviving grandparent, was put into hospice this week. Beau held my hand while we listened to my mom on speakerphone, and he hugged me while I cried afterward. Then he asked me what I wanted to do, and when I said watch Star Trek, he held me while we did that.

Tuesday I felt well enough to work, since I do work from home, but I was still tired and feverish. Beau made me chicken noodle soup for lunch. 

Wednesday I felt completely better... until it was time to do a few chores after dinner to prep for our AC installation on Thursday. After just 30 minutes of loading the dishwasher and putting away laundry, extremely light housework, I was out-of-breath and ready for bed. Beau finished all the chores that we needed to get done that night. 

Even just writing out this description of how he took care of me while I was sick inadequately describes everything he's done for me this week. He has been my rock during this whole terrifying ordeal with my mom's cancer, and I know he'll continue to comfort me as she starts radiation and chemotherapy the week after next.

Our spouses are not only for the good times, but for the bad. I feel so incredibly blessed to have a man like Beau as my husband.

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Wedding Wednesday: "I Want to Look Natural, but Bridal" (Hair, Makeup, & Nails for the Big Day)

My last Wedding Wednesday post was obviously before I found out about my mom's brain cancer. Things are slowly getting back to a new kind of normal in my life, and I'm trying to bring my blog back to normal as well.
Hair and makeup look that's a prettier, shinier verison of me!
Considering how infrequently I wear makeup, and how little time I spend on my hair, I was surprisingly stressed out about my hair and makeup for my wedding day. Having a mani/pedi was a given--getting my nails professionally done is a semi-regular indulgence of mine. But how was I supposed to find time to:
  • figure out what kind of bridal "look" I wanted to copy
  • know what kind of products to buy to replicate that look
  • learn how to create that look so it would last half the day
  • know which hair tools to buy
  • experiment with those hair tools to get just the right curls
  • find the right hair products to keep those curls curly and not frizzy in humidity 

I spent so much time on Pinterest and reading my favorite beauty blogs, but I was still so lost. 

Then my mother-in-law emailed me and the other women (my mom, my sister-in-law-in-law E, and my future sister-in-law C) to see if we were interested in manicures and pedicures the day before the wedding. She also offered to find a spa or salon and coordinate the appointment. 

I immediately said yes. She quickly found options, and the best one also did hair and makeup. This was not the first time I'd considered having those professionally done, but I honestly just didn't know if it was in our budget. When I mentioned this to my mom, she insisted that paying for my hair and makeup was part of what they wanted to cover in our wedding costs.

Burden. Lifted. Between my mom and my MIL, a huge stressful part of wedding planning was handled, and I didn't have to do a thing.

All of us except for E had mani/pedis at a fabulous salon and spa within walking distance of our hotel. I chose a very sheer pink for my hands and a hot pink for my feet. Then I had my hair and makeup trial. Normally this would be a sooner than the day of the rehearsal, but we obviously don't live in San Antonio. I explained to my hair stylist that I wanted bigger, more defined curls than my natural wavy hair, and I showed her the tiara headband I wanted to wear. I told my makeup artist that I wanted my look to be "natural, but bridal."

I was thrilled with how it turned out! 

photo from the day before our wedding in San Antonio
Between the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner
My appointment Saturday morning didn't go quite as planned, but I still looked beautiful, and the hiccups were minor in the grand scheme of things. 

wedding pictures in San Antonio (staged first look)
This is a staged "first look" picture.
Clearly Beau thought I was beautiful! But then again, he always thinks I'm beautiful, even when I'm bare-faced with my hair all messy. That's why I married him! ♥ 

P.S. For a different perspective on bridal beauty, please look at my friend Carolyn's post on why she didn't wear makeup on her wedding day!
Linking up with Meredith, Nancy J, and Mary for Wedding Wednesday! 

Friday, June 6, 2014

Book Club Friday: A is for Abstinence (Sequel to V is for Virgin)

A little more than a year ago, I first discovered indie writer Kelly Oram when I bought her book V is for Virgin. Since then, I've also read--and written glowing reviews of--The Avery Shaw Experiment, Being Jamie Baker, and More Than Jamie Baker. So when Kelly announced she'd be writing a full-length sequel to V is for Virgin, I freaked out just a little bit.

If you have not yet read V is for Virgin, click on over to Amazon
and grab yourself an e-copy. Read it, and then come back here to read my review of A is for Abstinence. Since this is a sequel, even the book's summary reveals spoilers of the original. 

So if you keep reading below, you acknowledge there are spoilers for V is for Virgin, and you won't hold me responsible for ruining any joy in reading that glorious novel for the first time.

Kelly Oram's latest book, sequel to V is for Virgin
From Kelly's website: Six-time Grammy Award-winning musician Kyle Hamilton has it all—money, fame, talent, good looks, and a job he loves. His only regret in life: walking away from a certain notorious virgin because he was too prideful, stubborn, and even afraid to give her the only thing she asked of him—his abstinence.

Four years and a broken heart later, Kyle realizes that sex isn’t everything, and he suddenly can’t stop thinking about the girl that got away. Virgin Val Jensen got under his skin like no one else ever has. He wasn’t ready for her then, but things are different now. He’s grown up, he’s learned a few things, and he’s finally figured out exactly what he wants, or, rather, who he wants.

Kyle Hamilton wants a do-over, and this time he’s willing to do—or not do—whatever it takes.

Y'all. Words do not do the sexiness of the make-out sessions in this book justice. Like, you could probably enjoy the book based on those scenes alone. I had feels. In my lady bits. Who knew a book about abstinence would be so stimulating?

The book begins almost a year before the epilogue in V is for Virgin, but it quickly jumps forward to that moment, when Kyle and Val reunite. 

What follows is really amazing character growth for Kyle. While he certainly showed some in the first book, this sequel allows him to grow up in a lot of ways and begin to understand Val's convictions. 

This is a fluffy young adult novel, even if the characters are now in their 20s. I hope it's not too much of a spoiler if I mention that romance blossoms between the protagonist and "the one that got away." 

As much as I loved A is for Abstinence, it wasn't perfect. Like many young adult novels, including Kelly's other books, Kyle's character has one obnoxious, disturbing trait: he assumes that he knows Val better than she knows herself, and he doesn't always believe her when she states what she wants. 

In case there are any young men reading this book and this review, please please please take this to heart. If a girl says she doesn't want to go out with you, she doesn't want to go out with you. If a girl says she doesn't want to kiss you, she doesn't want to kiss you. If you keep badgering her until she changes her mind, that doesn't necessarily mean you were right. It could just as easily mean that you scared her enough to say yes

Like I said, this is a troubling trend in many books aimed at teens, the insistence of writing male characters who don't actually listen to the girls they pursue. 

Other than that, I absolutely loved Kelly Oram's A is for Abstinence. I highly recommend it to anyone who was a fan of V is for Virgin
*Amazon Affiliate links and whatnot

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

To Shave or Not to Shave: A Hairy Debate (Influenster Venus Snap with Embrace Review)

I'm a feminist, but I've still absorbed the social conditioning of American beauty standards to think that my legs and underarms are better when they're smooth.

It's ridiculous, I know, especially when you look at the history of female hair removal and realize that in America, at least, it's a fairly recent concept. Basically marketers are geniuses and the American public is stupid, so when marketers told us about all these awesome products for removing leg and underarm hair post-WWI, we started buying all these awesome products that we never needed before.

But even though I'm informed about marketing schemes and impossible beauty standards, I still prefer to have smooth-ish legs and arms.

Except I'm also lazy. I gave up on shaving cream in high school and switched to inexpensive conditioner. I gave up on using anything except water in France, when my experiment of shaving in bath water led me to discover how quickly and painlessly I can shave if I do so under running water.

So when Influenster sent me Gillette Venus Snap with Embrace, I was intrigued. 

Just activate with water? No need to lather up? Use it on the go?

What kind of genius product was this?!

While Gillette is promoting their new razor as small enough for a purse and the perfect product for shaving touch-ups while you're out and about, I think it's the perfect product for lazy shavers like me. 

I've used it as suggested for under my arms. I just rinsed the razor and shaved under one arm, then rinsed and repeated. Less than 30 seconds to bare underarms, with none of the previous mess of splashing water on my underarms.

I've also used it in the shower, under running water, the way I use all my razors. I won't say it gives me a closer shave, nor is it faster to use, but the small design makes it easier to shave my knees, which frequently get missed. 

My only complaint is that the price of the razor and refill blades is a bit steep, especially compared to my Bic Soleil disposable razors. The razor is $9-10 online and in stores. A 4-pack of refill blades retails between $15 and $18.

Sometimes my laziness--and an unexpected trip to the grocery store--really does trump all, however. On Monday Beau called me at the end of work and suggested we go to Kroger right away to pick up things for dinner. I looked down at my tank top and shorts, with my fuzzy underarms and fuzzy legs, and agreed anyway. Even though I shaved with my new Venus Snap later that night, I can thank feminism for giving me the confidence to go out in public, body hair and all, without giving two fucks what people thought of me. 

*As a member of Influenster, I received the Venus Snap for free. My review is my unbiased opinion, and it's not even required in exchange for the product. Also there is an Amazon Affiliate link if you're so inclined to try out the Venus Snap yourself. 

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Thanks for All the Prayers, Love, and Support

My mom is doing great!

The hospital discharged her on Friday, only two days after her surgery. My dad is having to remind her at home not to do too much because she's trying to cook and to clean. I mean, it's great that she's recovering quickly, but she needs to not overdo it! 

It's hard being so far away from my family. Being a plane ride away sucks. I know Beau and I are very lucky that he could take four days off work to spend time with my family and that I could work part-time hours remotely for two weeks. I just wish that we could drive to visit my parents, like my twin brother and his fiancée can. 


I want to thank all of you for the sweet comments y'all have left me in the last two weeks. I especially want to thank y'all for the prayers for my mom and for our family. We're big believers in science, but we're bigger believers in God. We know that science and technology are tools that God uses for healing. 

I'm not sure when my mom's next follow-up appointment is, or when she'll start chemotherapy and/or radiation, but please keep praying for that. This is only the beginning of a long journey towards good health.

Monday, June 2, 2014

Summer 2014 Book Challenge: One Month Down!

Summer 2014 Book Challenge: One Month Down!

I am on track to complete this challenge by the end of the summer! I read four books in May, and all of them came from my proposed reading list that I posted at the beginning of last month.

So what have I read so far?

20 points: Read a book with “son(s),” “daughter(s)” or “child(ren)” in the title. The Hangman's Daughter by Oliver Potzsch (448 pages, 4 stars, review here)

10 points: Read a book from the children’s section of the library or bookstore. Bitterblue by Kristin Cashore (563 pages, 5 stars, review here)

5 points: Freebie! Read any book that is at least 200 pages long. The History of Love by Nicole Krauss (260 pages, 5 stars)

30 points: Read a pair of books with antonyms in the titles. A is for Abstinence by Kelly Oram (204 pages, 4 stars) Note: the points are for TWO books, and I've only read the first, but I wanted to include it in my list of May books.   

Total points: Since I don't think I get to include 15 points for A is for Abstinence, not until I read a book about sex, I'm only at 35 points so far. But four books in four weeks is on track to finish out the summer with all 13 books read from my list!

What have you read lately? 



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