Wedding Wednesday: Loved Ones Far and Wide

It’s all over.

A wedding, a honeymoon, and three wedding receptions are finally done.

It’s a little bittersweet, to be honest.

I’m excited to be done with all the stress of planning. I’m excited to take time to settle into our house, unpack the rest of my boxes, find the perfect spot for our wedding presents, just bask in the everyday adventure of being newlyweds.

But celebrating with our friends and family has been such a joy to me. Sometimes it’s easy to forget how many people love me when I don’t get to see them often, but throwing three wedding receptions reminded Beau and me of how blessed we are. We have so many loved ones we needed three parties to accommodate them all!

While our receptions provided a lovely and needed reminder of how great the people are in my life, seeing my long-distance friends also reminded me of how hard it is to maintain long-distance relationships. I have best friends in Australia and in Canada, in Washington, Colorado, Wisconsin, and Florida. At our first reception, I reunited with my best friend and step-cousin, after almost seven years. This past weekend, I reunited with one of my au pair besties for the first time in more than three years. 

I only show mine and Beau's faces, not those of my friends and family. Les filles de 78!

It’s been just as difficult seeing my best friends who couldn’t attend either reception. My other two au pair besties I haven’t seen since July 2010 and October 2010 (Canadian and Australian, respectively). I haven’t seen one of my college best friends, a fellow French major who taught English in France while I was an au pair, since October 2011 at Homecoming.

Now I live in Small City, and I remind Beau more often than he’d like that we can’t live here forever. I’m slowly turning acquaintances into friends, and I do love his family. Game Night is the highlight of my week, with the occasional Friday night wine tasting coming in at a close second. Our house is the BEST, and the city is charming.

But seeing all of my friends this past month was a stark reminder of what I don’t have anymore. While I do have Lauren and Hardy in Big City, less than two hours away, it’s not the same as living down the street from Lauren. It’s not the same as seeing the au pairs every single day. It’s not the same as spontaneous tea parties and midnight trips to Jack-in-the-Box.

So while I’m glad not to be stressed out with wedding planning, I’m sad that I don’t know when I’ll see all my friends again. It could honestly be years, and that’s hard for me to acknowledge.

Luckily for me, I’m actually spending the rest of the week with Lauren and Hardy! Beau and I spent last night with them, and I drove Beau to the airport this morning. Instead of going back home, I’m working in the actual office all week and hanging out with besties every night. Then Saturday, Lauren and I will cheer on Hardy as he runs a half-marathon! It’s almost like the glory days from when Lauren and I were roommates!

Well… this blog post took an unexpected turn. I didn’t intend on writing such a melancholy post for Wedding Wednesday, but sometimes you don’t realize what you’re feeling until you write it all out.

Linking up with Nancy J, Meredith, and Ashlen for Wedding Wednesday!
Linking up with One Tipsy Chick for The Wednesday Roundup. 

Love Is... (Super Bowl Weekend Edition)

Beau and I had an amazing weekend. It was honestly the perfect balance between alone time, quality time with friends, relaxation, and productivity. 

Love is learning a new skill to please your partner.

Friday night, Beau and I went dancing!!!! My neighborhood has a dance studio, and they had a LivingSocial deal recently for discounted dance lessons. I don't formally dance anymore, but my past includes ten years of jazz and tap lessons, a few musical theatre productions, and Tuesday nights swing dancing at a local bar during undergrad. Beau has slightly... less training. So it was very nice spending Friday night learning the basics of how to waltz, foxtrot, and rumba. 

Love is cooking breakfast.

Saturday morning, I made Beau and me biscuits and gravy for breakfast. Then we had some very excellent alone time, wink wink, nudge nudge, followed by a relaxing hot bath. Our afternoon was spent cleaning my apartment and preparing for guests! 

Love is having fun with friends without alcohol.

My friends James and Amanda came over for pizza and board games. Beau dominated the night, winning first Star Trek Catan and then Scrabble.

Love is understanding when your partner makes mistakes.

Super Bowl Sunday was pretty sweet too! Beau and I went to one of my favorite restaurants for brunch. I had a buy one, get one coupon, but apparently I didn't read the fine print. I felt SO guilty when I found out it didn't apply to breakfast. I don't usually ask Beau to take me out for nice meals, and I was so excited about scoring a deal. He was very sweet and understanding when we found out my coupon was no good. Our server was very nice and gave us two free muffins as an apology, even though it was my fault for not reading the fine print. 

Love is spending all your free time with your bestie.

The Super Bowl itself we celebrated with Lauren, Hardy, and James. We ate SO much yummy food. The game was pretty boring, so Lauren and I spent most of the night gossiping.

All in all, I had an amazing weekend!

What did y'all do this weekend?

Red Wine Ramblings

I am drunk.

I was going to blog tonight. Like, officially, with a topic and everything. But now I'm drunkenly blogging, which I have done on my livejournal of 10 years, but never on my anon life, I don't think.

My bestie Lauren came over tonight for dinner. And by dinner, I mean wine and cheese. I was all fancy for her. I bought chevre with honey and brie, plus an assortment of crackers. I already had Norwegian cheese, which she didn't like last time, but my mom told me when I was home for Thanksgiving that I didn't serve it right, so I tried again. Plus red wine. A bottle of Pinot Noir was the original plan, and when we wanted more to drink, I opened my bottle of Bordeaux, which Beau Vierge had bought me for my birthday, and I was saving for a special occasion, but what's more special than hanging out with your best friend?

Her fiancé is my bestie too. I love them both. They are both awesome people. I'm very lucky to have them in my life. At different times, they have been there for me when I needed people to love me and support me. I can never thank them enough for that.

I'm going to be a bridesmaid in their wedding. I cried when Lauren asked me. She told me it was happy! I didn't need to cry! But I cry happy tears a lot, and nothing makes me happier than being a bridesmaid in the wedding of my two best friends.

I should blog while drunk more often, although the number of times I have to backspace to fix my spelling and grammar is embarrassing. 

I do have big plans for December.

Y'all should know I wrote out November first and realized my wine-inspired error.

But since life is super super super busy, we shall see if all my big plans pan out.

Until then, I hope y'all have best friends as wonderful as mine.

Everyone deserves a friend who will listen to you talk about sex toys, and family problems, and career advancements, and an anonymous blog.

I'm blessed with several of them.

So this drunken blog post is dedicated to LAUREN. That is not her real name, but she knows her blog name, and she has accepted it.

A Month of Birthdays

My birthday month might be over, but I always find new occasions to celebrate! This weekend, Beau and I are in Denver for my second cousin's wedding (yesterday!) and for a big family party (today!) thrown by my first cousin once removed and his wife, aka the groom's parents. These are my French/American cousins, so happy Bastille Day!

I love my birthday. I love a celebration that's all about me, true, but it's more than that. I love taking the time to reflect on my growth in the previous year, to reminisce about fun and/or new experiences, to focus on my goals for the next year.

My birthday was June 8th, but I celebrated all month long, as I do... Highlights included:

Buying a rattan table and chairs for my apartment

Joyeux anniversaire à moi

My boyfriend and my besties coming over for a wine & cheese night

Going to a big city with my boyfriend for the weekend, my first time ever visiting this city

In this city, visiting several museums and the zoo

Yes, I love taking pictures with all the bronze statues. Especially silly pictures.

Just outside this city, seeing a community production of Shrek the Musical

In this city, going to a major league baseball game

Catching up (a little) on my reading

Going to my local Pride Festival

The Pride Festival included booths for several sex shops. I couldn't resist taking this photo.

Seeing a Broadway show on tour

Spending several mornings and afternoons in a bikini, at a pool, causing men to lust after me

The only bad part of my birthday was H proposing to his girlfriend the day before our birthday, aka stealing the spotlight away from me. That, and finding out that his girlfriend now fiancée had defriended me on facebook. That, and seeing that none of our mutual church camp friends bothered wishing me a happy birthday.

Sometimes, taking the high road and not telling all your mutual friends about exactly why you're not speaking to someone really SUCKS, because he's obviously told them all that I'm overreacting and that he's the victim in this situation. 

Other than that, my birthday month was PERFECT. My boyfriend spoiled me rotten with all sorts of lovely prezzies, like two humongous bags of gummy candy, and a bottle of Bordeaux, and a laptop cooling board, and a new set of wine glasses, and a new bikini, and something I'm not blogging about that's just between us. (Fine, I told Lauren and Hardy too. And my parents. But I'm not blogging about it).

My birthday month was perfect this year, but the boyfriend has already figured out a way to give me an even BETTER birthday month next year... Too bad y'all will have to wait until then to find out his plans for us.

My Bikini Answer: Sexual Attraction is not Lust

Beau is a very supportive boyfriend. Not only does he not mind me writing all about our love and non-sex sex life on the Internet, but he reads all of my blog posts faithfully. He then gives me feedback on my writing. Sometimes he points out the occasional typo, but mostly he just tells that me I'm a wonderful writer, and that he'll happily be a SAHD in the future when I'm a world-famous author. 

A few weeks ago, I wrote about going to the pool with Beau and my besties, Hardy and Lauren. Who love the nicknames I gave them, by the way. Beau read it while we were skyping, and then this conversation happened.

Beau: Well... I definitely noticed Lauren in a bikini.

Me: But you weren't lusting after her.

Beau: Uhh...

Me: Were you thinking of her as a sexual object who only existed for your pleasure?

Beau: No.

Me: You just noticed that my best friend is hot and looks good in a bikini?

Beau: Yes.

Me: That's not lust, babe. In fact, I think my next bikini post will be on the differences between attraction and lust.

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Modesty culture does not distinguish between healthy, biological sexual attraction and unhealthy, objectifying lust. As usual, I am not the first to write about this, and I do want to acknowledge what else has already been eloquently stated on this topic. However, I also want to differentiate even further and consider appreciation, attraction, and lust as three distinct reactions to a bikini-clad body (or really, any "attractive" human being).

Appreciation: Good-looking people are not all identical. Obviously beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that, but even if you look at a sampling of Beautiful People, they are not all the same. Brad Pitt is conventionally attractive. So are Will Smith, Orlando Bloom, Patrick Dempsey, Ryan Gosling, etc. I look at all of these men and acknowledge they are Beautiful People. But I'm personally not attracted to all of them. They are not all My Type. I appreciate all their good looks, but I am not attracted to all their good looks. If you've ever told your best friend how hot she looks, or your younger brother how handsome he is (and you weren't lying to be nice), then you understand. You can appreciate someone's attractiveness without being attracted to that person. 

Just for the record, this is me with the majority of my female friends. (The majority of my male friends too, for that matter). Just because I'm attracted to women, and I think my female friends are attractive, does NOT mean I'm automatically attracted to all my female friends.

Sexual Attraction: When I see Will Smith or Orlando Bloom, I get these feelings. Physical feelings. And when I see Beau, especially when he's looking at me in that way, these physical feelings are like a tingling sensation all over my body, but especially in my lady bits. This is sexual attraction. It is a natural, biological response. In fact, it is a natural, God-given response. If we never felt sexual attraction, we wouldn't want to have sex. If we never had sex, we could never procreate. And God's most awesome creation would have ended at Adam and Eve.*

via

Lust: I am guilty of lust. Yes, women are capable of lust. When I go to tumblr and look at photo sets of Naya Rivera, which are often collections that focus just on her perfect tits or splendid ass, I am lusting after her. I am not seeing Naya Rivera as a talented, kind-hearted person worthy of dignity and respect.** I am looking at her body and thinking about how much I enjoy it. I am objectifying her. This is lust, and this is the sin God calls us to avoid.

The Panty-Grabber, Rape Jokes, and Vulnerability

The night after some creep stole my underwear, I went to Lauren's apartment to have dinner with her and Hardy. Wine in hand, we sat around while dinner simmered on the stove, and I told them all about my ordeal. Their response was just what I needed. They sympathized with me completely. They asked all the right questions. They were appropriately shocked and disturbed. 

After dinner, and several glasses of wine later, Lauren coined the phrase "panty grabber." We had been joking about several topics, and making the little "shame, shame" motions with our hands, when she did the gesture again, saying, "Tsk, tsk, panty grabber!" And I about died laughing. We started repeating it over and over (I mentioned the several glasses of wine, right?), and Hardy came in, completely bewildered. I'm sure he thought we were crazy.

•  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •

Bad comedians claim that any joke, no matter how offensive, should be okay to tell, because humor and free speech blah blah blah.

Average comedians think maybe some subjects shouldn't be used in jokes.

Good comedians know that any topic can be the basis for a joke, if done correctly. 

A good comedian can joke about rape. Unfortunately, bad comedians tend to be the ones mostly joking about rape, making assholes of themselves, and screeching FREE SPEECH as though they have a clue. 

If you ever want to joke about rape, Lindy West wrote an excellent guide to doing so. In a nutshell, joking about rape, or other offensive topics, is okay when the rapist, or rape culture, is the butt of the joke, NOT the rape victim.

•  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •

Vulnerability is not my strength.

I like to be strong. Independent. Confident. Carefree. 

I don't like feeling hurt. I don't like feeling scared, or unsure, or alone, or nervous. And if I do feel these things, I'd rather not anyone know. I'd rather come off as cold or indifferent or angry than admit I'm in pain.

But I'm trying. I've learned how to be vulnerable with Beau, and I have a few other close friends to whom I've opened up. I've written some vulnerable posts here, and I have it on good authority that they're among my best. 

I'm an eternal optimist. I'm all about the silver lining. So when I think about the panty-grabber, I prefer focusing on my ability to take this horrific event and write two blog posts about it.

•  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •

So what do the panty-grabber, rape jokes, and vulnerability have in common?

I was strong for the first few hours after my underwear was stolen. But then I broke down into tears over the ordeal. I was more composed when I saw Hardy and Lauren the next day, but I was still upset, and they validated my feelings.

First with Beau's support, and then with my friends' understanding, I felt better. My fear was real. My pain was real. My reaction to the situation was not a joke. But I still reached a point when I could laugh about it. 

Lauren unwittingly helped me with that by referring to the creep as the panty-grabber. Just that little, silly phrase removes his power over me. No, I don't plan on doing my laundry in my apartment building anytime soon, but I feel more like he's just a pathetic loser than a terrifying rapist-in-training. 

The panty-grabber tried to hurt me, but it turns out, the joke is on him. I have a drawer full of new sexy panties courtesy of Beau, and the women in this building are all now aware of the panty-grabber's existence. So the panty-grabber might have momentarily thrown me off-balance, but I've already repaired the damage and prevented him from any future thievery in this building. 

I'm still strong, hot, and awesome, and he's just a sad little creep who's destined to die alone.

My Bikini Answer: I Am Not Cake

Okay, so this is definitely turning into multiple posts. Consider the real-life story to be an intro to all the posts. Then each post will include some quotations from the original offensive text, some quotations of other commentary, and then my own thoughts.

Saturday, June 22, 2013

 
Y’all.

The CRAZIEST thing happened on Saturday. My besties Lauren and Hardy invited Beau and me to hang out at the pool with them. I wore a bikini. So did Lauren.

And nothing happened.

When Hardy hugged me hello, he didn’t suddenly lose control or grab my boobs or my butt. When Beau hugged Lauren hello, he didn’t suddenly lust after her or treat her like a sex object. And when Lauren and I hugged hello, not a single guy whipped out a dick to start an orgy.

It’s almost as though Hardy and Beau (and the other dudes who were at the pool) are human beings, not animals, who are capable of seeing women in skimpy clothing without immediately needing to be sexual with them. In fact, they’re capable of TOUCHING women in skimpy clothing without that touch or their thoughts turning sexual.

So I guess it’s not so much that the craziest thing happened on Saturday, but that it’s totally crazy that nothing happened.

Or at least, that’s what the author of the viral post “The Bikini Question” would have you believe. Apparently all men are visual creatures who are incited to lust by a woman’s body. Apparently all women should wear one-piece bathing suits… no, wait, apparently we should all wear shirts and shorts over our bathing suits… But wait, I’ve been complimented on my legs before, and my hair, and the tattoo on my foot… Does that mean I should go swimming in a burqa? If women have to dress a certain way to keep men from lusting after them, that’s the logical conclusion… right?

Those paragraphs were a nice combination of hyperbole and sarcasm, just in case y’all didn’t catch on to that.

My First Date with My Boyfriend

July 29th.

One year.

Wow.

A year ago today, the boyfriend and I had our first date. We had been emailing each other almost daily for several weeks, first via okcupid and then with our gmail accounts.

I wore my new black sundress from Target, a dress that is still one of my favorites. He wore a red golf shirt that I still don't like and jeans.

We met outside a restaurant not far from my apartment. He motioned to shake my hand, but I hugged him instead. He was surprised, and I laughed.

We talked nonstop throughout dinner and for who knows how long afterwards, partly hoping the rain would stop and partly not wanting the date to end.

Unbeknownst to me, the not-yet-boyfriend stared at my cleavage unabashedly while I looked over the menu, but he swears it was my excellent conversational skills that won me a second date.

I wanted to kiss him good-night, but between the rain, and the smokers outside the door, and his to-go box, and my purse... it just didn't feel right. I hugged him again instead.

I was giddy all night.

Back at my apartment, I called my new best friends Hardy* and James* to hang out, since my roomie/bestie Lauren* was gone that weekend. I ended up meeting them at a party with a bunch of their fraternity brothers. I let one guy blatantly hit on me and buy me drinks, and I shamelessly flirted with all the brothers. I gave another guy my number, although, in my defense, I thought he was gay, so I thought he literally just wanted to hang out to practice French.

I obviously did not intend to start anything serious with the not-yet-boyfriend. Yes, we had an amazing first date. Yes, I wanted to see him again. But I was also leaving the Midwest just three weeks later, August 18th, and moving to the Northeast August 28th for ten months. Dating him was just for funsies. I had zero intention of falling in love.

But I did. :) And I've never been so happy in my life.

As you read this post, I'm driving back to the Midwest; back to Lauren, Hardy, and James; back to a fun, open-minded city with tons of young people; and, most importantly, back to the boyfriend.

2011 In Review

1. What did you do in 2011 that you'd never done before?

A thousand different things. Traveled by myself for two weeks. Visited Norway. Made the first move with a guy. Interned with Delta Nu*. Lived in the Northeast. Fell in love. Started my first relationship. Lots of fun, intimate things as part of said relationship.

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I didn't make any concrete resolutions last year. Something about reading more classics and reading more books in French. I did read more classic literature, but not very much in French. Oops. This coming year, I want to track my expenditures again and keep a tight budget like I did when I lived in France.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Not this year, no.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

A wonderful woman from my church had had Parkinson's for a long time. She died this year.

5. What countries did you visit?

Well. I lived in France and the States. I visited England and Norway.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?

A job with a real salary and benefits.

7. What date from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

May 12. I left my favorite country in the world, and I don't know when I'll be back. :( July 29, first date with the the now-boyfriend. :)

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I continued to follow my dreams. Once again I put my happiness above financial security, and it's worked out so incredibly well for me. I have three new best friends, a boyfriend, and an awesome network of connections because of choosing my summer internship over a year-long internship.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Not writing more. I had a goal to write 150,000 words this year, but only intentional writing counted. So these blog posts, yes. Emails, no. Fiction, poetry, etc., yes. My personal blog posts (travel writing aside), no. I only hit like, 40,000 words or something sad like that. Granted, it is more than I've ever written before (not counting stuff for school).

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

No!!!!! After starting 2010 in the hospital, 2011 was awesome!

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Train tickets and plane tickets for traveling.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

My twin brother has completely turned his life around, and I couldn't be prouder.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Americans in general...

14. Where did most of your money go?

First part of the year: rent, food, train tickets, hostels, plane tickets. Summer: food, alcohol, gas, clothes, shoes. End of the year: Starbucks, plane tickets, clothes.

Most of my money has gone towards traveling.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Going to Norway for the first time and meeting all my family there!!!

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?

This is the first time I've really gotten into Adele, so I'm going to say anything she put out this year. And the Glee mash-up, of course.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder? Happier, since I just spent the holidays with my family.

ii. thinner or fatter? About the same, I think.

iii. richer or poorer? About the same as well, except even more on my own and less dependent on my parents (but I still owe them money).

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Writing!!!! Traveling, although I did travel as much as I could afford to do.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Um. Can't think of anything. It was a pretty balanced year.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

With my family :)

22. Did you fall in love in 2011?

Yes! With the boyfriend. ♥

23. Did your heart break in 2011?

Yes, but I'll always love Mark* as my best friend.

24. What was your favorite TV program?

Glee, same as last year.

25. Where were you when 2011 began?

In Montmartre.

26. Who were you with?

A friend of mine and about a gagillion other people.

27. Where will you be when 2011 ends?

Probably at home. Yup, I'm just that cool.

28. Who will you be with when 2011 ends?

My parents and one of my best friends from high school.

29. What was the best book you read?

Just one? Seriously? Either The Help or The Hunger Games trilogy. Oh, wait, or The Picture of Dorian Gray.

30. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I got really into Adele this year.

31. What did you want and get?

An internship with Delta Nu. :D

32. What did you want and not get?

Total financial independence. I'm getting close!

33. What was your favorite film of this year?

Is it sad if I say The Muppets Movie?

34. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I went out to dinner with my co-intern and summer roommate Lauren*. You can probably figure out by now how old I am, but I'm not telling!

35. How many different states did you travel to in 2011?

Um, my home state, the Midwestern state where I was this summer, the three states in-between my home state & the Midwestern state, the Northeastern state where I currently live... So six. French regions? Four, I think. Norwegian regions? Two. Then London. So about thirteen overall. Give or take.

36. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?

The same as always. Some combination of bright American casual and dark French sophisticated.

37. What kept you sane?

My besties, my family, my blogs, my followers on twitter, and MY BOYFRIEND. Oh, and Starbucks.

38. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Ummmm, Naya Riviera from Glee. I just couldn't help myself.

39. What political issue stirred you the most?

Gay marriage legalized in New York!!!!!

40. How many concerts did you see in 2011?

Not that many. The Beach Boys this summer!

41. Did you have a favorite concert in 2011?

The Beach Boys this summer!

42. Who was the best new person you met?

My summer besties: Lauren, Hardy, and James*. 'My' kids.

THE BOYFRIEND.

43. Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?

Nope!

44. What was your most embarrassing moment of 2011?

Nothing comes to mind.

45. What are your plans for 2012?

Move to Canada with my job, move to the Midwest and find a new job, figure out if I want to marry the boyfriend once we're living in the same state (you can't jump into these things, especially via a long-distance relationship), blog more often... Yeah, that's about it.

*We're all good on the fake names, fake sorority, right? Awesome. Just checking.

Oxymoron: A Virgin's Sex Life

“How was the non-sex sex?”

So began my gchat discussion with my bestie and sorority sister Lauren when I returned home from Thanksgiving with the boyfriend. What followed was a brief overview of our physical relationship and how amazing it is when we're together (although the skype sex is fun too). Of course, then Lauren and I (and her boyfriend, another bestie of mine, Hardy) skyped two nights later, during which I provided a blow-by-blow (pun unintended) account of Thanksgiving with the boyfriend and his family.

Everything from him surprising me with a rose at the airport to showering together to playing board games with his family to falling asleep in his arms to all of us going to see The Muppets.

Of course, the highlight of the weekend was the post-climatic cuddling Thursday night. My head rested on his chest, and he had one arm around me, with his other hand entwined with mine. He told me that he had dreamed about this moment, but in his dream, I told him I loved him.

Why, yes, that sound you heard is my heart bursting out of my chest because I am so in love with him.

I got the biggest smile on my face and said that it had been so so hard not saying it the last few weeks (even if it is all over twitter...), but that I didn't want our first time to be over skype. He agreed with that sentiment. Then I said that I had planned on telling him that day, but didn't know when to say it. He said he didn't mind saying it first. "I'm in love, what can I say?"

Ughhhh, he's so perfect, and I'm so lucky.

Did you know that he's my first boyfriend? That I'm in my 20s, and I've just now fallen in love with my first boyfriend? That I could have had one years ago if I had settled for my best friend Joe? (Which would have pleased both of our families and all of our friends immensely, by the way).

Do you have any idea how challenging it was to find a man who doesn't pressure me about our physical relationship? A man who's assertive in expressing his desire for me, but who also moves at a pace that makes me comfortable? A man who's made the same commitment to waiting for marriage? (And for non-religious reasons, just like I have!)

Most of the time, I enjoyed being single, but the older I got, the more difficult it became. People started acting like there was something wrong with me for having never had a boyfriend. Yes, you're right, I do differ from the majority of the population in a quirky way.

I have standards.

#sorrynotsorry

Those standards involve not having sex until marriage, which automatically eliminates the vast majority of folks in their 20s. Couple that with my feminist streak a mile wide, and you can understand my extremely limited dating pool.

But I waited and waited and waited until I met the boyfriend, and he's everything I ever desired in a significant other. When I told my best friend Ryan about the boyfriend, his response summed up everything I've been feeling.

“So happy for you. You kept the faith that you would find someone amazing, you didn't settle, and you have been rewarded.”

The best part about dating a fellow virgin who agrees that premarital sex is not a sin?

Completely losing ourselves in all the non-sex sex. ;)