Friday, November 23, 2012

Thankful for Love and Orgasms

Well, it took about an hour of checking facebook, twitter, my email, and my bank accounts, but my heart rate has slowed back down to normal, and I no longer have waves of pleasure moving through my body.

(If you hadn’t already guessed, this blog post will be a little more… explicit, than usual).

Thanksgiving has always been a special holiday. A time for family, for food, for the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade (in which I danced my senior year of high school, thankyouverymuch), and for reflecting on what really matters.

After last year, however, Thanksgiving is no longer just one of many holidays during which I eat yummy food with loved ones, but it has elevated to a sort of anniversary for the boyfriend and me.

I spent both this and last Thanksgiving with the boyfriend and his family. Last year, in bed, after only the second of many sexi times to cum,* the boyfriend told me he loved me for the very first time.

I can’t believe it’s been a whole year since then. We’ve gone from seeing each other every three weeks if we were lucky, and every three months if we were not, to spending every weekend (and occasional weekdays) together. I’ve gone from googling “how to give a blow job” to making the boyfriend moan within seconds. My once-quiet, rather pleasant orgasms are now accompanied by gasps and moans as my entire body spasms in pleasure. I’ve stopped secretly daydreaming about our wedding—we now openly discuss the details.

So much has changed, yet the most important aspect of our relationship remains the same.

We are still completely, head over heels, in love with each other.

This week has been a difficult one for me. My car broke down on the way to work Monday. On Tuesday, I found out the repair would cost approximately $4,430, aka well more than my car is worth. I spent most of Wednesday sobbing uncontrollably.

But I’ve learned a few things this week.
  • I don’t have to do everything on my own.
  • I can depend on others and still be independent.
  • Accepting help is not a sign of weakness.
  • Neither is crying.
  • My boyfriend still loves me even after ignoring his calls, being passive-aggressive, and looking like a hot-teary-mess.

I also had to remind myself that, in the grand scheme of things, not having my own car is a minor problem. This Thanksgiving, I am thankful for the major things.
  • My twin brother no longer has a brain tumor.
  • My Crohn’s is still in remission, and I’m only taking pentasa.
  • My little brother is having an amazing experience in Australia, where he’s started dating his first real girlfriend—from Mexico.
  • I have a job. That I can mostly do from home.
  • I have a good boss and good co-workers.
  • I am surrounded by friends and family who love me, including my amazing twitter/blog friends.
  • And did I mention that I have a boyfriend who loves me, who respects me, who understands me, who spoils me, who finds me sexy, who turns me on, who makes me laugh, who wants to marry me?
Not having a car is just a minor roadblock along an otherwise pretty amazing journey. This Thanksgiving, more than anything, I’m just thankful to have the boyfriend by my side.

*I can't resist a good pun.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Boyfriend or Puppy?

Sometimes I'm unsure if I spend most of my free time with my boyfriend... or a puppy.

What do you think?
  • Nuzzles me awake with his cold nose early in the morning, eager to play.
  • Flops on my bed, right in the middle, leaving no space for me.
  • Farts and looks at me innocently to see if I noticed.
  • Gets really excited about going for a ride in the car.
  • Keeps me warm at night.
  • Communicates with growls and whimpers.
  • Licks my face unexpectedly. Doesn't stop, even when I smack him on the nose.
  • Wiggles constantly. Incapable of staying still except when asleep.
  • Loves a good back scratch.

Boyfriend or puppy?

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Five Myths About Women Who Love Sex: A Guest Post

Y'all, I become so excited whenever someone offers to write a guest post for me! Melissa Messer contacted me ages ago, but preoccupied me didn't get around to accepting her offer until just last week.

Melissa is a freelance contributor to The Dating Website who is dangerously close to being a college graduate. Her native habitat includes an ample coffee supply, a collection of scarves, and headphones pumping an endless supply of music into her ears.
Melissa is writing from the nonvirgin perspective on life, and I'm thrilled she chose to share her viewpoint!

Now, I can’t for a second say that this was an easy post to write. Ladies who openly love sex are still somewhat of an anomaly in today’s world, and God forbid you live in a country where simply having sex outside of marriage is grounds for murder. In more progressive places, life is easier for women, but female promiscuity still tends to bring out nasty streaks in people's personalities. Even while writing this, I am somewhat fearful of the comments I may receive. I’ll admit though, that I’m no longer ashamed of the truth: there are women in this world who love sex. Not because of anything associated with it, not the power or the attention, but just because of the fact that sex can be one of the most amazing things you’ll ever experience. How you choose to go about it should be entirely up to each woman in the world (and man, for that matter!). I’m sick to death of the stigma and hushed tones that our mothers and grandmothers were forced to associate with sex. My own mother, bless her heart, still regards the whole topic as one she “doesn’t want to talk about.”

So, as Belle has been kind enough to allow me to share my opinion on women who love sex with you lovely readers of Confessions of a Virgin, I declare that I’ve had enough. Let’s talk about this out in the open like adults. Let’s dispel some of the myths associated with women who unabashedly love sex.

Slutwalks UK

1. A woman who loves sex is a slut.
Society has trouble exactly defining what a “slut” is, but what I seem to be able to gather from the babble are several definitions. One is that a slut is someone who equates sex with power. Sluts, then, don’t seem to be actually interested in sex. They just want the power that they gain from it. Slut also seems to be a girl who has sex to make up for her insecurities by using sex to either gain or keep the interest of men. Again, these women don’t necessarily love sex—they just want the attention and power that it brings them.

However, I’d go so far as to say that since the world can’t seem to tell me what a “slut” actually is, sluts don’t actually exist except as a term to attempt to demean women. It’s the equivalent of calling someone a “cotton-headed ninnymuggins.” It’s nonsense. Calling someone a slut says way more about the one doing the calling than it does the perceived slut, and I vote we get rid of this silliness once and for all.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Wasting Your Vote is BULLSHIT: How Voting Is Like Sex

Have you seen the controversial ad comparing voting for the first time to having sex for the first time?

It's received a lot of attention, and rightly so. From Republican outrage* "Oh, look, the Democratic Party reduces women to their sexual status too!" to this well-written article on hipster sexism.

I don't condemn the ad as objectification of women. Lena Dunham is an extremely self-aware woman who knows what she's doing.

But I don't think the ad goes far enough in comparing voting to sex. I think I can do better.


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