A
few weeks ago I received an email from a fellow writer, Mallory
Hughes, asking if she could guest post for my blog. I get excited
when people admit to reading (and liking my blog), so of course I
said yes. She ended up becoming very busy (ah, student life, those
were the days!), but passed on this gem from Lilly Star, the lead
female writer at DatingWebsites.com.
Lilly is a professional advice-giver with experiences in dating
men of all types, including the good ones that got away. Her passions
include white wine, purple peonies and relaxing on the chaise lounge
with her dachshund Samantha. Lilly's work can be read on dating blogs
for both men and women.
So, dear readers, grab yourself a glass of white wine (Lilly would
approve) and read what she has to say about one of my guilty
pleasures: romcoms.
The moment comes in almost every
romantic comedy when man and woman unite in a hug after a drawn out,
overly dramatic sprint into each others arms. They embrace, they
kiss, they sweep each other’s foreheads. Ultimately they forgive
the previous two hours of indiscretion and heartache. The message:
Despite everything, we are in love.
Love in the real world is a little
different.
If you’re like me, then you
understand that there is a lot of doubt in the dating world that
movies creatively cover up. The indecision and lack of commitment
from male counterparts* is only the tip of what can be an iceberg of
confusion. It’s the gray area, the confusion, that most movies
voluntarily skip. Why impart reality when fantasies are what you
want?
The problem I’ve found is, that if I
buy into the bogus perceptions, then I’m usually in for some major
disappointments (even movies as “self-aware” as He’s
Just Not That Into You have a nasty habit of ending on the
sorts of upticks that make the realist woman grimace). I know that
there is real optimism in the movies, and that is a powerful antacid
for the trivialities of life, but taking lessons from these movies
can be counterproductive. I’ve looked down on myself as the awful
words, “Well, Samantha on Sex and the City ….” have left
my mouth. I know better than to think Christian Louboutin heels are
going to make me sexier to a man who has never looked at the
underside of shoes in his life. Still, I make the mistake of
following those pearls of advice from the Hollywood starlets, and end
up as frustrated as before, but with a grand less to spend on
groceries.
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| Note to self: Samantha is just a character, not my real life BFF (Photo Credit)
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Maybe women shouldn’t buy into the
movie-making mess at all. Maybe we should establish a firm line
against taking dating advice from scripts...?
