Saturday, November 19, 2011

Can my first time please involve choreography with "Like A Virgin" blasting in the background? No?



I'm a total Gleek and proud of it.

Glee is everything I want in a TV series. Singing. Dancing. Lampshading (when a show pokes fun at itself). Characters actually aging and graduating high school.

Beyond that, I love how the characters start out as blatant stereotypes, but become more complex. Although Rachel was originally my favorite character—I totally identified with her—Santana is now my favorite by far. A bitchy, promiscuous cheerleader? Psh, like we haven't seen that before. Except, wait, she's hooking up with her best friend and fellow Cheerio Brittany? Just hot girl-on-girl action, right? Except, no, Santana is secretly a lesbian.

So awesome.

I also love how Glee handles sex, with only a few quibbling remarks. Virginity is addressed in multiple episodes, most notably in “The Power of Madonna,” “Duets,” and, most recently, “The First Time.”

As your foremost expert in virginity, having been one for twenty-something years and counting, I feel qualified to critique the way virginity—and losing virginity—is presented in Glee.

I hate:

That Emma equates female empowerment with having sex. That Will lets her.

That Santana doesn't think it's a big deal to take Finn's virginity. That Brittany doesn't think it's a big deal to take Artie's virginity. That the girls are both using sex as a means to get something.

That Artie thinks Rachel and Blaine are unrealistic as Maria and Tony because they're virgins. That Rachel and Blaine listen to him!

That Rachel is presented as crazy and unrealistic for wanting to wait until she's in her 20s to have sex.

That Rachel tries to prove Finn's special because she's giving him her virginity, a gift she can only give once.

That none of the characters who want their first time to be special wait til marriage.

I love:

That Will recognizes he was an asshole and apologizes to Emma.

That Finn regrets sleeping with Santana. That Brittany feels badly for how she treated Artie.

That choosing to have multiple partners doesn't make Santana and Brittany sluts anymore than Puck is considered a manwhore.

The scene when Rachel turns to the other girls for advice. The different perspectives each of them offer on choosing to have sex.

That Rachel sees her first time as giving her virginity to her boyfriend and not losing it to him.

That Blaine and Kurt's first time receive the same attention as Finn and Rachel's.

That both couples wait until they're in love. That Blaine and Finn don't pressure Kurt and Rachel into doing anything until they're ready. (Blaine's drunken scene aside).

That Blaine casually refers to masturbation as an alternative to his otherwise conservative sex life.

That we'll maybe see Emma and Will's first time be on their wedding night?

I'm not the only one who thinks Glee could have done a few things differently. Therese over at “How to Lose Your Virginity” has a great post on it, although with a fairly different perspective than I present.

I'll end with this. Sometimes sex is a big deal; sometimes it isn't. Sometimes losing your virginity is special and romantic and involves singing & dancing; sometimes it's fumbling in the back of your mom's car. At the end of the day, sex is a personal choice, and no one has the right to tell you otherwise. Overall, I think Glee does a good job of showing that people will try and interfere with your sex life, but at the end of the day, what you choose to do (or not do) with another person (or alone!) is up to you.

Me, I'm waiting til marriage for that final, crowning act, but in the meantime, I'll enjoy a variety of alternatives...

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Versatile: A Francophone Feminist Post-grad Sorority Girl, Blogging About Virginity

Versatile: ver-sa-tile [vur-suh-tl] or, especially British, [vur-suh-tahyl]: capable of, or adapted for, turning easily from one to another various tasks, fields of endeavor, etc.: a versatile writer.
Word information source:

Here is how the award works:
1. You thank the person who presented you with the award.
2. You tell 7 things about yourself.
3. You award 15 other newly discovered bloggers.

I was super-excited and totally honored when the beautiful Kristine included me on her list of 15 (more or less) newly discovered bloggers. It's taken me an extremely long time to pass it on, but better late than never, right?

Seven Things About Me... (Didn't I already cover this here?)

  1. Pink is my favorite color, but when I'm shopping for purses, shoes, scarves, or other daily accessories, I usually buy red or purple, both of which I love as colorful neutrals. On an unrelated note, I can't wait to turn 50 and join The Red Hats Society.
  2. I'm obsessed with my sorority, but no, I can't say which one because I interned there. I'm sure y'all will appreciate my research, though. You just won't know it's mine. ;)
  3. My favorite pandora station is based on the artist “Glee Cast.” It's the best mix of classic rock, Broadway showtunes, pop, and country. Plus Glee covers!
  4. I've seen Wicked in both New York City (I was 17) and London (I was 23).
  5. I could happily live in France the rest of my life. Part of the reason I want to be certified to teach high school history & French is to gain the credentials to teach in an American/international high school in France. Like where my cousin teaches. I'm 100% serious.
  6. I'm a good writer, but I'm also a really good editor. If you need someone to look over your history essay/blog post/newspaper column/etc., especially just for grammar/spelling/punctuation, than I am your friend. I also really enjoy editing papers. #nerdconfession
  7. One of my happiest memories of my current au pair job was a few weeks ago. I was driving my kids to school and also dropping off my boss dad at the train station. Adele came on the radio. My youngest started singing, my boy joined in, I added my voice, and then my oldest sang along as well. It illustrates two huge things I love about my job: being comfortable with my bosses and singing all the time with my kids.

Fifteen Blogs I Like! (Not necessarily newly discovered).

  1. Boats And Bowties aka my twitter crush.
  2. Lindsey Leigh of Keep It Classy, Alabama
  3. I Saw Your Nanny (it's an occupational hazard...)

So go find some new blogs! And make your own awards!

Thursday, November 3, 2011

A Feminist in Love

During Homecoming, I had a chance to hang out and catch up with one of my favorite Delta Nus.* Last time I celebrated Homecoming with her, we were both in Paris... Those were the days.

Megan:* So, tell me the truth, BV. Have you imagined yourself as BV Smith* yet?

Me: (starts laughing) No, of course not!

Megan: What? You're moving to the Midwest next year, and you haven't even thought about it?

Me: Oh, I've daydreamed about marrying him, but it's not as though I'm going to take my husband's name when I get married. What kind of feminist do you think I am?

Megan: (starts laughing) I love you, BV. You're such a badass.

I've never been called a badass before. A priss, a prep, a goody-two-shoes, a role model, a lesbian, a leader, the spirit of Delta Nu, a slut, a teacher's pet, Peter Pan, an overachieving perfectionist, a princess... but never a badass before. I was flattered, to say the least. Pleased enough to relate the conversation to my mom.

Me: And then she called me a badass! Pretty cool, huh, Mom?

Mom: (laughs) You know, while you were telling me your story, I thought to myself, 'Gosh, BV Smith doesn't really have a nice ring to it.' But then immediately I reassured myself, before you even said it, 'Well, it's not like BV will ever take her husband's name anyway.'

My mom knows me so well.

*Does anyone even read the footnotes anymore? Obviously, fake names, fake sorority.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Copyright © 2013 Finding My Virginity | Design By 2317studio | Powered By Blogger