Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Blog Hopping... Like Bar Hopping, But Free!

Join Us For The Chickadette Blog Hop!!

So there's this new blog called The Blog Tap that I just love. Started by one of my favorite bloggers (aka Lauren of Our Crazy Ever After), it's basically a blog community. Which is awesome because I'm all about community. And blogging.

Ashley Marie of Chicadette just posted about a Blog Hop, which sounds like a fun party with lots of dancing Grease style. However, I have been informed that it's not exactly like that. It's a way to broaden the reader base of all us little bloggers that could.

What does Ashley Marie suggest?

So let's see if we can gain a significant following of random people who genuinely take interest in your blog! I suggest a link-up like no other I've seen!

Starting February 1, 2012


Let's take this link up thing a couple of steps farther, starting with Facebook.

Let's help some sista's out.

Take my pledge. I dare you.

I pledge for one week, every day, to post the link URL of a different blogger's website.

There are bazillions of people on Facebook and just think of the potential exposure of one person posting your URL for their 500 friends to see.

Let's promote new bloggers and make some new friends in the mean time!

If you're interested, LINK UP! and DO IT NOW! That way, when we launch and all of my readers and your readers and so on read about this link up your name will already be on the list of people who want their blog shared!


1. Post a blog about this link up and link up, of course!

2. For the next 5 days pick a different blogger from this link up and post their url in your Blog Facebook Page's 'Status' box.

3. *optional* Leave that blogger a comment on their post about this link up letting them know you picked them that day!

Now, for myself, I'm adapting this slightly. I blog anonymously, so my blog and my facebook are not connected. However, I will sporadically over the next week post to facebook and be like "Hey, just read this awesome blog post!" I will also tweet to my anonymous twitter about the same blog. In other words, I'll still be linking the blogs around, just with a bit more subtlety.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Be Our Guest!

I started this blog because I was tired of how people reacted when they found out I was technically still a virgin. Obviously, I have great friends, and they don't care one way or the other. But I interact with a lot of people, some of whom never surpass being an acquaintance. And then when I add in guys I've dated or almost dated or just hooked up with. Basically, tons of people who equate virgins with freaks of nature.

I started this blog to inform the general populace, to educate the masses, that no, I'm not a freak of a nature. In fact, if I may be so bold, I'm pretty awesome, albeit in an off-beat, nerdy way.

I started this blog to reach out to other intentional virgins. To let them know other virgins are out there.

As I near my six-month "anniversary," I must confess, I am having a blast with this blog. I'm doing everything I set out to do and more.
  • writing about virginity
  • clearing up some virginity myths
  • privately corresponding with readers
  • putting my whole private life on display for examination
  • discovering other blogs about virginity, sex, relationships, religion, online dating, au pairing/nannying, sorority life, writing/publishing, Paris, feminism, following your dreams...
  • finding out I'm not alone in my beliefs
  • helping my readers find out they're not alone either!
But now it's time to hear from y'all! Both the boyfriend and some of my friends have volunteered to write (anonymous) guest posts, with a range of topics: online dating, sex/virginity, male virginity, loss of virginity, social expectations, etc. I'm going to send out an email soon, requesting guest submissions, but I want reader input! What questions do you have? What stories do you want to hear? Are there any myths you want busted?

I would also love some guest posts from my readers, not just my friend group. If you are interested in writing a guest post for me, let me know! I'm still writing out my guidelines, which will partly be based on feedback. The overall theme of my blog is making decisions for yourself and respecting the choices of others. Anything that falls within that is welcome--not just posts on virginity!

Please leave a comment or shoot me an email with your thoughts on guest posts, or if you're interested in writing one for me.

Bisous, B.V.

"Be Our Guest" from Beauty & the Beast

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Regrets? I Have None.

Confession: Occasionally I doubt the decisions I've made. Occasionally I ask myself “what if?” Occasionally I look at my friends and wonder if they know something I don't.

Should I have attended such an expensive, private university? I'm leaning towards teaching high school rather than earning my Ph.D., so it's not as though I need the prestigious credentials.

What if I had gone to grad school straight after undergrad, instead of moving to France? I could be halfway towards my Ph.D. already, with my Master's in hand.

If everyone else is having sex, then why I do I continue to wait for marriage? No one would fault me or think I'm hypocritical. Waiting to be in love is still an accomplishment.

Occasionally these thoughts run through my head. But most of the time?

I'm totally confident in what I've done, who I am, and where I'm going.

I've watched my dreams come true, from joining a sorority to studying abroad in France, from working in France to interning at my sorority's headquarters.

I'm a fearless young woman in love for the first time, working for an amazing French family in a friendly suburb of a glamorous city, and gearing up to move to Canada with them.

I continue to follow my heart, as I've always done. My heart has led me outside of the South, which may always be home, but is no longer big enough to contain me.

Life doesn't always happen the way we plan it, and that can be a good thing. Yes, be ambitious, set goals, but when your heart's desire changes, don't be afraid to change your life along with it. 

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Me & OKC (Part Two): Why I Only Kissed French Men, but Didn't Date Them

Remember that time I tried online dating in France? And I was totally sold on it after meeting Ron,* and then sorta, kinda, not exactly dating him for a few months?

Then, of course, I met the boyfriend this summer via okcupid.com as well, so, clearly, my whole little venture into online dating has been nothing but fun-filled thrills.

Right. I'm also a vegan nonvirgin Buddhist who considers Starbucks an unnecessary luxury.**

What I glossed over when describing my first meeting with Ron is that I then met up with another guy shortly afterward. This time, a French computer programmer or video-game designer or something like that. He had first contacted me after reading my profile and seeing how blasé I was (and still am, always have been) about having Crohn's disease. I'm always wary of my fellow Crohnies thinking we have some sort of cosmic connection because we share a fucked up digestive system, but Frédéric* was funny in both French and in English, and it was easy to IM with him in both languages. I'm charming both online and in person, so I assumed he would also be fun in person.


Saturday, January 7, 2012

Virgin Myths: Virgins are Boring

Cherry graphic via

I don't drink,
Or swear.
I don't rat my hair.
I get ill from one cigarette.

Myth: Virgins abstain from having sex, so they must abstain from all other “risky” behaviors as well.

Y'all have seen Grease, right? I love this movie, despite its flaws. (Virgin/whore dichotomy much?) I think one of my favorite songs from the movie is “Sandra Dee,” when Rizzo makes fun of Sandy for being a goody-two-shoes. For one, we get a glimpse at Rizzo's amazing legs. But two, even though the song mocks Sandy's virginity, I've always liked the explicit description of saving sex for marriage. Off the top of my head, I can't think of a single other song that does that. Even Billy Joel's “Only the Good Die Young,” (another personal favorite) just alludes to waiting to have sex.


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