Please Stop Asking Me About My Sex Life

I’ve been a virgin my whole life, for well over 25 years. I’ve been blogging about virginity for about two and a half years now. I like to accessorize with a scarlet V on my chest, and sometimes I accidentally pull my V-card out of my wallet when I’m reaching for my credit card.

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So, like, you’d think I’d be totally suave and sophisticated, or at least straightforward and sensible, when discussing S-E-X with actual people, in real life.*

Nuh-uh.

Not even close.

If I don’t blush and stammer, then I go off on some academic, feminist diatribe. Anything to avoid talking about my own sex life.

Yet, I can’t always avoid the conversation. Even with my family.

Especially with my family.

When my boyfriend and I first started dating, my mom and I had a lovely little chat.

Mom: So where are you and Beau staying during the weekend?

Me: I booked us a hotel downtown, within walking distance of the church.

Mom: Just one room?!

Me: I can’t exactly afford two rooms, Mom, and I’m not going to ask him to pay for the hotel for my sorority sister’s wedding.

Mom: Oh, goodness me. Well, you know, just be sure to only pack nice underwear, in case he goes through your bag or something. I mean, I don’t know why he’d be in your suitcase, but you wouldn’t want him to come across one of those older pairs you have or something.

Me: Um, okay, Mom. So, on a completely unrelated note, if I call in a refill of my birth control at our local pharmacy, could you pick it up and mail it to me?

Mom: *crickets*

Me: Mom, I’m only going to say this once, and then I never want to discuss it again. Beau and I are both saving sex for marriage.

It came up with Beau, his brother, and his brother’s wife when we were debating the “religious freedom” of the coverage of birth control.

Me: I’m lucky that mine only costs $10 a month, but that’s with insurance. Not all formulas are the same, and without insurance, it can be really expensive.

Beau’s Brother: *raises his eyebrows and looks at Beau*

Beau: *undertone* She takes it for medical reasons.

Me: *blushes*

Oh, hey, my aunt brought it up at Christmas last year!

Aunt: *undertone* So are you two doing it?

Me: *undertone* Aunt!!!!!!!!!!!!! No! *blushes*

Everyone Else: *looks at us*

What can I say? I really don’t want to tell my family my boyfriend and I aren’t having sex. But I also don’t want lectures on how we shouldn’t be having sex until we’re married. Which we’re not.

Basically I’m screwed—well, not screwed—either way.

*Exceptions to my awkwardness would be with select besties, who are great for sexy chats.

Merry Christmas to All, and to All a Good Night!

Sunday Shoutouts: Christmas Edition

Me: You're all I want for Christmas, but I don't want you under my tree. I want you under me.
Beau: Oooh. I'll show you my wood.
Me: You can play with my snow globes.

Yes, Beau and I totally had a dirty Christmas conversation on the way home from seeing The Nutcracker. Don't judge us.

I haven't spent a lot of time online this past week. Things at work have been crazy, mainly because I was trying to get everything done before leaving the office on Friday. I'm taking this week off for Christmas, and I made it very clear to all my co-workers that I would not be checking my email all week. Add in all the pre-Christmas frenzy, and the Internet has just not been my priority.

In the spirit of the holidays, I'm only sharing posts about Christmas!

Best DIY Bath Product: One of my favorite beauty bloggers, Elle Sees, shared three recipes inspired by Starbucks. I made the Gingerbread Sugar Scrub as a Christmas present for one of my friends. I had enough left over to save some for myself. My skin felt so silky smooth after I used the scrub in my shower!

Biggest Nerdgasm: The bromance between Sir Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen is the best one ever.

Best Holiday Date Night: My friend Betsy went to the zoo lights with her husband Jon! I plan on going to my local zoo lights with Beau later this week.

This week will also be quiet as I celebrate Christmas with Beau. What are you looking forward to this week?

Noël à Niort

Paris isn't the only French city where I've spent the holiday season. I taught English in Niort from October 2010 to April 2011. 

Niort is obviously much smaller than Paris, but the lights were still very pretty!

I loved shopping in the marchés de Noël in France. The ones in Niort were small, but still very cute!

One night I got together with a very international group of friends who I had met via couchsurfing. It was a nice mix of French locals, teaching assistants from Canada, the US, the UK, and Germany, and other internationals who lived in Niort. We sang Christmas carols in multiple languages and played bilingual board games. It was so much fun!

That was my first year spending Christmas away from my family. At least I had a tiny Christmas tree in my apartment. 

I like the REAL tree that Beau bought me this year much better. And while I'm going to miss being away from my family for Christmas, I like the plans Beau and I are making to celebrate next week.

Are you ready for Christmas?

Sunday Shoutouts: Another Busy Week

Between facebook, twitter, and tumblr, I feel like I shared a million links this week! I'm having a hard time narrowing them down to just a handful to highlight today.

Most Eye-Opening and Depressing: Dr. Jill McDevitt wrote about her experience in helping a friend report a sexual assault. Reading her account of how difficult the entire process was absolutely broke my heart, but it also inspired me to find local rape crisis centers to support with the rest of my charitable budget for the year.

Best Post About Teh Menz: This list on Buzzfeed about how feminism benefits men will make you laugh and nod your head in agreement.

Best Interfaith Perspective on Christmas: My friend Betsy is Jewish, but her husband is Christian. She wrote a great blog post on Christmas traditions.

And finally, in a brand-new category for Sunday Shoutouts...

Best Post About ME! I'm hanging out on Casey's sidebar again this month. Check out all the nice things Casey had to say about me, plus her favorite posts of mine!

A Biblical Woman

A warm welcome to Casey's readers! Some of you might remember me from August, the first time I co-hosted the Friday Fresh Faces blog hop with Casey. Don't forget to link up again today! I wrote a special post that day just for y'all, about how I'm totes not a lifestyle blogger.

Remember the #1 reason? About being too personal and too controversial? I've already proven myself to be both this month. First I got red wine drunk and wrote about my best friend. Then I cried after overhearing rape jokes in a game of Cards Against Humanity, so I blogged about my feelings on it.

But today I'm sharing something that's both new and the same.

For the last several months, I've been slowly reading A Year of Biblical Womanhood by Rachel Held Evans. When reading nonfiction books for pleasure, I tend to read them slowly, partly so I don't get bored, and partly so I can spend more time focusing on the book, absorbing its lessons.

 

I bought her ebook in October when it was one of the 100 books for $3.99 or less. I'm obviously addicted to bargain ebooks. I usually read it on my iPad, but sometimes I read it on my iPhone. I don't have my kindle apps synced, but I like how that's affected my reading of her book. Most chapters I've read twice. And by the time I finish this blog post, I will probably have read her December chapter three times.

Why am I reviewing just a chapter of a book, instead of the whole book? And why am I reviewing December, aside from the obvious?

I haven't finished reading RHE's book so I couldn't review it in full even if I wanted. But more than that, each chapter is so different, and so thought-provoking, and so inspiring, that writing a review for the entire book would either be the longest book review of my entire life, or devoid of my emotional reaction to the book.

In her December chapter, RHE does something so beautiful that it moved me to tears.

She talks about all the biblical women who were hurt by the patriarchal norms in their society. 

She cites all the passages in the Old Testament that illustrate how terribly the laws treated women during biblical times.

She briefly tells the stories of several named biblical women, but the story that resonated the most is of the nameless daughter of Jephthah, the mighty warrior of Gilead in Judges. 

The nameless daughter who dies as a burnt offering to God.

In the book of Judges, the women of Israel remembered the daughter of Jephthah, in an annual tradition now long lost.

To honor the women who were victims of rape and murder, RHE and her friend had their own ceremony, which included reading the relevant passages of the Bible, lighting candles, reciting poetry, and creating art in their memory.

These forgotten stories are why I can't be a Christian without being a feminist. 

These women's fates are why I choose to interpret the Bible in a way that honors men, women, and children, in a way that puts love above all else. When I "cherry-pick" my Bible, I interpret the oppressive passages within their historical and patriarchal context, a choice Christ Himself often made when countering the Pharisees. 

I think biblical womanhood is important. I think Christian women should turn to the Bible for inspiration on how we live our lives.

But if we aren't living our lives in a way that honors the women who came before us... that tries to make our world a better place for women today... that focuses on love and justice... then what are we doing with the lives God gave us?

This month, as we remember the Virgin Mary, let us also remember the other women in the Bible, the named and the unnamed. As we remember the humility of the Virgin Mary, let us also remember the courage of Esther, and the loyalty of Ruth, and the strength of Deborah.

Let us remember that we have more than 

one way to be a biblical woman.

I'm linking up with Heather for Book Club Friday...

But I'm ALSO co-hosting the Fresh Face Fridays blog hop with Casey! I hope you'll add your link below.

Welcome to the

FRESH FACE FRIDAY BLOG HOP!

No prompt, just fun!

Hosted by: Casey @ We Took the Road Less Traveled

Rules for hopping:

1| Follow your host & co-hosts (first 3 links), pretty please! 

2| Link up your blog's homepage or Bloglovin' page.

3| Hop around, meet new bloggers, and leave them love!

4| Have fun? Spread the word and share this blog hop with your friends!

5| Want to be a co-host? Click here for more info! 

Grab a button and share the blog hop love!

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*This post includes a single Amazon affiliate link.

Gift Ideas for Busty Women

If you're anything like me, you have definitely not finished your Christmas shopping yet. Between you and me, I haven't even finalized my list! The silver lining is that I've purchased all of Beau's presents already!

Beau promises that he's already picked out my gifts, but I figure a few ideas for the future can't hurt. Besides, I can't be the only busty woman out there who wouldn't mind adding these presents to her wish list.

 

For your girlfriend/wife: I know sexy gifts are fun to give (and receive!), but busty women can't wear all lingerie styles. Instead of picking out a matching bra and panty set, or a lacy teddy, think about a loose nightie or sexy panties that match a plain black bra that she (hopefully) already has. Most busty women can't wear bras without trying them on first, and very few sexy sets come in our sizes. Teddies are built for more proportional women, so it's especially difficult for slim women with big boobs to wear. 

This red satin chemise doesn't have to fit a woman's breasts perfectly, and if the skirt part is a little loose, it will still be comfortable and flattering. Personally, I have three babydolls that I love because neither the bust nor the skirt need to fit perfectly.

For your daughter: Okay, so I'm slightly biased in this recommendation since my parents bought this for me as an early Christmas present when I was home for Thanksgiving. Beau and I have a beach vacation planned for this spring, so my mom bought me a nice new bathing suit for the occasion. If other parents are at all like mine, they worry about how much skin their daughters show at the beach or the pool. My mom finally realized that my body shape requires me to wear bikinis, however, so she's become very supportive (get it?) of me buying expensive, bra-style bikinis. At my favorite local bra boutique, I picked out this bandeau bikini by Cleo, and she happily bought it for me. If my fellow busty ladies are at all like me, then they don't have the money to buy a nice, well-fitting bathing suit that will last a good five years or more. I promise this gift will be well-received!

For your best friend: In the winter, scarves are accessories for everyone. Scarves also double as a cleavage-hiding accessory. I have definitely used scarves with my low-cut tops or dresses to hide my cleavage at work or at church. For the budget-conscious, Forever 21 has tons of cute, affordable styles, like this fun pink scarf. If your bestie loves Parisian style, you can't go wrong with a Pashmina. And if you live somewhere really cold like I do, check out all the hand-knit scarves on etsy!

Obviously I love all my Pashminas, all from Paris save one. The outlier is from Vienna.

Of course, some gifts are good for any busty woman in your life. I know gift certificates feel like a cop (a feel) out, but good bras, in correct sizes, are EXPENSIVE. Most of my bras are $50-70 each. Even just $15 to my favorite bra boutique would make a huge difference.

Another fun gift would be one of the Busty Girl Comics books. Paige "Rampaige" Halsey Warren created 300 comics, which are now available in three books. These collections are absolutely hilarious, and any busty woman would enjoy them.

I hope you found some shopping inspiration! If I am the busty woman in your life, email me for my mailing address. ;) I wouldn't say no to any of these presents!

Are you shopping for a busty woman this year? Are you a busty woman hoping to get any of these presents? Share your thoughts in the comments!

*None of these links are affiliate because I'm lazy and because I only do affiliate links for stuff I've tried out myself but mostly because I'm lazy.

Emulating the Virgin Mary

I’ve always loved Advent. Church at Christmastime has always been my favorite. I love the Bible passages predicting the Messiah. I love the Advent wreath. I love singing Christmas Carols, especially “Silent Night.” Most of all, I love the Christmas story.

“[Joseph] went to be registered with Mary, to whom he was engaged and who was expecting a child. ⁶ While they were there, the time came for her to deliver her child. ⁷ And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in bands of cloth, and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn.” Luke 2: 5-7, NSRV

As many pastors have pointed out over the years, Jesus was born in a barn. Surrounded by animals. To an unwed teenage girl. With only dirty shepherds to celebrate his birth.

Mary didn’t have her mother to hold her hand, or an epidural, or sanitary conditions, or even a midwife. Mary had nothing but her fiancé Joseph and her faith in God.

God chose the insignificant Virgin Mary to give birth to the Son of God, under the humblest of conditions. To this day, the Church recognizes humility as an admirable trait to embody.