Friday, August 16, 2013

Top 5 Reasons I Am Not a Lifestyle Blogger

A very welcome BONJOUR, Y’ALL to the friends of Casey who might be reading my blog for the first time. I’m very excited to be “sponsoringy’all know that’s just a fancy blogger word for advertising Casey again this month. I loved working with her before, and when she announced her new format, featuring just two bloggers a week, I knew I had to paste my button to her sidebar once again.

I haven’t read the glowing review Casey gave me just yet, I’m assuming it’s glowing but y’all probably figured out at some point that my blog isn’t exactly like other blogs.

The all-encompassing word for all-encompassing blogs is lifestyle. Not quite a fashion blogger, not quite a beauty blogger, not quite a insert-faith-group-here blogger… When you blog about it all, you’re a lifestyle blogger.

That’s not me.

I'm the blogger who tries to take a picture with every bronze animal at every zoo.

I mean, yeah, sometimes I blog about clothes and nail polish. Sometimes I blog about my faith. I definitely blog about my relationship. These are characteristics of lifestyle bloggers, right?

Except that’s so not me. In fact, I’ve even compiled a list of why I’m totally not a lifestyle blogger.

5) I repeat outfits.

I do this all the time. I have a few looks that I love, that are totally me, and I just wear the shit out of them. I own a billion (read: six) black and white striped tops, and a million (read: four) pairs of colorful skinny jeans. In the winter, I’m even worse. I wear the same pair of jeans at least four days a week, with a steady rotation of long-sleeved tops, and the same hoodie. What can I say? I like to be comfortable!

L to R: Red a.n.a. ankle skinny jeans with striped a.n.a. peplum top; ditto; pink a.n.a. shorts with striped a.n.a. scoop neck; pink a.n.a. ankle skinny jeans with striped top from France

4) I don’t blog five times a week.

Mad props to any of y’all who are working two jobs, maintaining a medium-distance boyfriend, sleeping eight hours a night, and blogging five days a week. I mean, I haven’t actually found any of you yet. I’m just assuming you exist, somewhere. If that’s you, let me know in the comments so I can stalk you and learn your magical ways. 

Me, on the other hand, will just keep on trucking on with a few scattered posts here and there while I get enough sleep each night to keep my Crohn’s from killing me (I exaggerate, but only slightly—I can’t afford to be hospitalized again), juggle the two jobs that pay my bills and provide me health insurance in case I actually am hospitalized again (true story—last time it happened, I didn’t have health insurance), and spend time with Beau who is the most amazing, understanding, romantic boyfriend a woman could ever want.

Also he likes taking pictures with the bronze animals at the zoo.

3) I’ve never shared a recipe.

I’m actually a good cook. And one time, I took pictures on Instagram when I attempted to make zucchini chips for the kids I was au pairing. But I have zero patience for taking beautiful pictures of all the steps in every meal I prepare. Also, now that I’m no longer paid to cook dinner for three kids every night, my dinners consist of Chick-fil-A when I’m working at JCP and frozen pizza, boxed mac & cheese, sandwiches, casseroles, soup, and other cheap/easy/fast meals for ONE when I’m not working at JCP. I will sometimes Instagram my beautiful mac & cheese with my wine, but who wants to see that every night? 

No one.

2) I secretly hate posting pictures on my blog.

When I started this blog, I wrote about virginity. And nothing else. I did not include pictures with those early posts. For some of them, I have gone back and inserted pictures, but that was largely because they looked weird on my sidebar of “What People Are Reading” with no thumbnails. That, and I learned that blog readers like pictures. Apparently y’all—we?—have short attention spans and need lots of pictures to read an entire blog post. Confession: I barely look at y’all’s pictures. Even Casey’s. (LOVE YOU!) My eyes start to glaze over after about three gorgeous scenic pictures of whatever amazing trip you’re discussing. But you know what keeps my interest? All that lovely text you include. Tell me about your trip. Share a funny story about your weekend. I know a picture is worth a thousand words, but damn it, I really just want to read those thousand words.

But for those of you with a short attention span, here’s a pretty picture that has nothing to do with this blog post.

I used to live in France. This is the view from Saint-Paul-de-Vence.

1) I’m too controversial and too personal to appeal to a large number of people.

Although lifestyle bloggers seem to be mostly married, or in relationships, I would have NO idea they (y’all?) ever spend anytime naked with their partners. But I do. And I blog about it.

This blog chronicles my blossoming sexuality, my understanding of virginity, sex, and whatever is in-between, my relationship with Beau, and the growing intersection of feminism with faith.

This blog also talks about politics, and sexual assault, and consent, and modesty, and Christianity, and all those other things you don’t talk about in polite company. Or on lifestyle blogs.

I get that most lifestyle bloggers aren’t anonymous. I mean, their readers include their parents, their siblings, their friends, their co-workers. Most people probably don’t want people to know the intimate details of their sex lives or their controversial stances on LGBTQ+ issues, and I respect that.

But it’s also why I’m not a lifestyle blogger. I’m not presenting an image here. I’m not trying to maintain a perfectly crafted persona who owns tons of cute clothes, never farts, and DIYs her entire house.

That’s not me.

That’s not my blog.

So as much as I would love to gain a bajillion followers (or really just 24 likes on facebook so I can access my analytics), I know that I’m not going to be everyone’s cup of tea.

But if you wanted to become a regular reader, that would be awesome. And if you wanted to join in this week’s link up, that would be even more awesome. There’s no prompt! It’s the easiest link up ever! I try and join in every week to meet new bloggers--although I always see a few familiar faces too. I'm looking at y'all, Betsy and Jess.

Welcome to the
No prompt, just fun!

Hosted by: Casey @ We Took the Road Less Traveled

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1| Follow your host & co-hosts (first 3 links), pretty please! 
2| Link up your blog's homepage or Bloglovin' page.
3| Hop around, meet new bloggers, and leave them love!
4| Have fun? Spread the word and share this blog hop with your friends!
5| Want to be a co-host? Click here for more info! 

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  1. okay.

    5) me too. I didn't realize how much until I started doing regular #OOTD posts... and kept seeing the same dresses over and over. oops!

    2) I like posting pictures on my blog and seeing photos on other blogs, but I will pay WAY more attention to what you're showing me if you only post a few. (This x100000000 if all the photos are of one outfit...)

    1) I disagree! But I do think you challenge your readers and a lot of people out there choose not to be intellectually stimulated in the way that your blog inspires. Honestly, though, better 10 engaged readers than 100 who just click through! That's what I think anyway :)

    1. I'm glad I'm not alone in my "fashion crime" ways! Living in France totally influenced my sense of style. They wear the same gorgeous outfits over and over again. Mine are not quite as perfect, and definitely not as expensive, but when I find a winning combination, why mess with that?

      For realz on the fashion posts. Like, okay, give me one full-body shot. Let me see the close-up of your accessories. Annnnnnd that's enough. Kthxbye.

      Aw, thank you! I do love my engaged readers. I would much rather have a few genuine readers who actually leave comments or tweet at me than a long list of readers who don't talk to me.

  2. I prefer reading blogs than writing them. My posts follow some erratic path and the only way to fix this would be to hire someone to take care of my blog. Not going to happen anytime soon though.

    I enjoy reading your blog and I have a hard time believing that you are "too controversial and too personal to appeal to a large number of people". I think you are simply "undiscovered" and that's the explanation for a low follower count on the blog and your Facebook page.

    BTW, visit my good friend August - I think you will like it a lot :-) Here's the link to her blog:
    and to her Facebook page:

    1. It is so much easier to read than it is to write. Plus reading helps me connect with other bloggers, and if I interact with them enough, they start reading my blog.

      Thank you! I like your spin on things. I would love a million readers, but I'm pretty happy with the level of engagement I have from my current followers. :)

      I am looking at her blog and liking what I see! Thanks for the recommendation!

  3. Yours is one of my favourite blogs :) I'm glad I chanced upon it during Jenni's "Blog Ever Day in May" challenge. (I'm not sure if this is a topic-appropriate comment for this post, but I just wanted to say it :D )

  4. Love this post!

    #4 Thank you, thank you for saying this! I'm relieved to know someone else feels this way!

    #2 Same here. I love photos, but I get a little annoyed it there are too many distracting from the taking forever to load.

    #1 controversial and personal are exactly what should be appealing!

    1. So it's not just me who can't blog everyday? Phew! I'd rather produce really great content a few times a month than a bunch of daily filler posts. I challenged myself to blog everyday in May, but some of those posts were DEFINITELY filler, and both my sleep & boyfriend suffered that month.

      They do take forever to load sometimes. I just really like to read, you know?

      Thank you! I like to think so, but the "big" bloggers and "big" twitter anons are all like carbon copies of each other...

  5. cheers to non-lifestyle bloggers! i get such crap bc i'm not one. i tried's not me. i know readers wanna know all the personal details, but it's what IG is for. i just have a hard time marrying beauty (my love) with my personal life. blah. and i hate posting pics of myself. i'm getting better at doing it. and thanks for being the one person who actually reads my text! thank you!!

    1. You're a beauty blogger, and you're so good at it! I seriously wrote down the names of products to buy on my last CVS beauty run based on your recommendations, and then I bought them all!

  6. Oh my goodness, Paulina at Color Me Brave mentioned you in her post the other day and I knew I had to check out your blog and now I am just so happy! Your right down my alley with where I want MY blog to go and I think we should become friends. :)

    1. Thank you! I'm so glad you like my blog. And me. I could always use new friends!!!

  7. I love this post, and it's a lot of the reasons I love reading your blog! I read a lot of blogs that follow the same format, and it's really nice to change it up a bit! I considering myself a bit of a lifestyle meets book blogger, and even that doesn't feel accurate. Although I definitely don't post outfits, since in general I seemed to have missed the fashion gene!


Thanks for reading and commenting!

Anonymous commenting disabled while my mom is sick.

Comments are moderated because I receive a lot of spam, and I think CAPTCHA is annoying. I reply to most of your comments within the comment section because it inspires discussion between readers. For first-time commenters, I try to reply by email.

Yes, you can comment anonymously. Yes, you can disagree with me. However, as of 05/31/2013, if you are commenting anonymously, and your words are hateful or abusive, I will publish these at my discretion. I like that my blog can be a forum for discussion, but anything that blames or mocks survivors of sexual assault will NOT be tolerated.


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