Sunday, October 13, 2013

Virgin Myths: Nerdy Virgins

Cherry graphic via

Apparently I completely forgot about my blog series on virgin myths.

Looking over the seven myths I've already tackled, I discovered my problem. I ran out of myths that were not true for me as a virgin, and since the vast majority of my blog is based on personal experience, I temporarily ran out of material.

But I am not like all other virgins, and they are not all like me. So I googled "stereotypes about virgins" and found myself some new material for my first blog series!

Myth: Virgins are nerds.

Beau and I are both nerdy and proud of it. We've been to two Comic Cons at this point--in costume. Our favorite dates include going to science museums and the zoo. We dressed up as characters from Star Trek: The Next Generation last year for Halloween. I can answer any question about any Harry Potter book, I have written Harry Potter fanfiction after years of reading it, and I went to the midnight showings of movies GoF, OotP, HBP, and DH2, in costume for all except OotP (I was living in France when DH1 came out, and my city only played the dubbed version). And Beau is an engineer, which is possibly the nerdiest of all professions.

Grown-up Hermione at the Yule Ball.
But our nerdiness isn't connected to our virginity. We're not virgins because we're both huge dorks who can't get laid. We haven't had coitus yet because we decided to save it for marriage. And before I met Beau, no man had ever seen me naked nor had I ever performed fellatio because I was saving those actions for trust and for love.

Most of my friends fall somewhere on the nerdy spectrum. Some are definitely nerdier than others. But there's no correlation between nerdiness and virginity among my friends.

So am I a nerdy virgin?

Yes, and proud of it.

But are all virgins thus nerds?

Nope, not even close.



  1. LOVE the costume!! :)

    1. Thanks! Did you notice my Time-Turner? Beau gave it to me for our anniversary last year. :) Plus I've got my "wizarding robes" aka my college graduation robes, a fancy dress that's appropriate for a ball, and a Christmas pin to emphasize the Yule-ness of the ball.

      Yes, I put a LOT of thought into it!

  2. Apparently a few years ago Bryn Mawr had a huge Yule Ball in the Great Hall (which looks a bit like Hogwarts). I am SO mad I missed it. If it ever happens again, you can be sure I'll be there in costume! I'm proud to be a nerd, though I'm not quite the Star Trek/Comic-Con type.

    1. Nerds have a variety of interests! I'm not into Doctor Who or comic books, for example.

      My alma mater now has its own Defense Against the Dark Arts League. I'm totally bummed that started after I graduated.

  3. Thirtysomething virgin here - and nerd :)
    Another possible virginity myth: virgins don't use sex toys/don't understand their bodies/don't know how to orgasm or what they like in bed. That always pisses me off...

    1. Woohoo! A kindred spirit!

      Yes, I started masturbating well before I had even kissed a guy. Solo sex was a great way for me to learn what I liked and didn't like, preferences I was able to bring to the table when I started exploring sexy stuff with Beau.

      Thanks for commenting! And if you'd ever like to contribute with a guest post on virginity, let me know. Most of my guest writers have been anonymous.

  4. I've just stumbled over your blog today from a comment on Jezebel, and I think I'll be sending you an email at some point, because your blog is giving me a lot to think about/giving me some courage to accept my faith as well as my sexuality, which has been hard for me. But that is not at all what I wanted to say (though I do think you're getting an email from me later).

    Is your HP fanfiction something that you've ever shared with the world? Nobody knows this about me, but I'm such a huge fan of HP fanfiction in general and I like your blog AND your thoughts about literature, so now I'm really curious.

    Also, congratulations on the wedding!

    Love, personwithonlyweirdnamesthatwouldgiveawaymyidentityatonce

    1. You are why I enable anonymous commenting, even with the huge amount of spam I receive and the occasionally abusive comment like I opened this morning!

      I haven't written HP fanfiction in years, and all I ever wrote were one-shots. But yeah, they were posted on my livejournal which I still sorta maintain. If you email me, I'll send you the link. It's connected to my real location, so I don't link to it from my anon blog here.

      What are your favorite sites? I like the best for stories based on canon, but I also find individual writers on livejournal for femmeslash and other fanon pairings.

      Love, BelleWhoCantUseHerRealFirstNameBecauseItsSoRareInAmerica

    2. Eep! I didn't think you'd have the time to reply, but you did, and so soon! I've been reading your blog all morning and all night, and I'm slowly reaching the beginning (I somehow decided to start with the newest posts).

      I'm blushing and giggling writing this even though I know that no one will ever know it's me: I stumbled across HP fanfiction when researching something for my (artsy/serious) novel a million years ago, and even though I knew very little about HP I fell in love with the SS/HG-stuff even though I find it at least borderline creepy. I've mainly been on sycophanthex - ashwinder. I rarely favorite stories, yet I have at least 100 favorites on my very anonymous profile... (in my defense I'm one of those lucky ones who understand text instantly)

      Ok, this is now long. Hm. You will hear from me soon with all kinds of "please keep writing"-lines since I've been having a bit of an epiphany because of you today - also I'd love to read your HP stuff.

      Love, IFeelYourTroubleOneOfMyNamesIsNotSharedByASinglePersonAndMyFullNameIsAbsurd


Thanks for reading and commenting!

Anonymous commenting disabled while my mom is sick.

Comments are moderated because I receive a lot of spam, and I think CAPTCHA is annoying. I reply to most of your comments within the comment section because it inspires discussion between readers. For first-time commenters, I try to reply by email.

Yes, you can comment anonymously. Yes, you can disagree with me. However, as of 05/31/2013, if you are commenting anonymously, and your words are hateful or abusive, I will publish these at my discretion. I like that my blog can be a forum for discussion, but anything that blames or mocks survivors of sexual assault will NOT be tolerated.


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