Wedding Wednesday: "I Want to Look Natural, but Bridal" (Hair, Makeup, & Nails for the Big Day)

My last Wedding Wednesday post was obviously before I found out about my mom's brain cancer. Things are slowly getting back to a new kind of normal in my life, and I'm trying to bring my blog back to normal as well.

Considering how infrequently I wear makeup, and how little time I spend on my hair, I was surprisingly stressed out about my hair and makeup for my wedding day. Having a mani/pedi was a given--getting my nails professionally done is a semi-regular indulgence of mine. But how was I supposed to find time to:

• figure out what kind of bridal "look" I wanted to copy
• know what kind of products to buy to replicate that look
• learn how to create that look so it would last half the day
• know which hair tools to buy
• experiment with those hair tools to get just the right curls
• find the right hair products to keep those curls curly and not frizzy in humidity 

My anti-frizz oil is fighting a losing battle... pic.twitter.com/MQ0xYpw4Eh
— Belle Femme (@SaBelleFemme) March 21, 2014

I spent so much time on Pinterest and reading my favorite beauty blogs, but I was still so lost. 

Then my mother-in-law emailed me and the other women (my mom, my sister-in-law-in-law E, and my future sister-in-law C) to see if we were interested in manicures and pedicures the day before the wedding. She also offered to find a spa or salon and coordinate the appointment. 

I immediately said yes. She quickly found options, and the best one also did hair and makeup. This was not the first time I'd considered having those professionally done, but I honestly just didn't know if it was in our budget. When I mentioned this to my mom, she insisted that paying for my hair and makeup was part of what they wanted to cover in our wedding costs.

Burden. Lifted. Between my mom and my MIL, a huge stressful part of wedding planning was handled, and I didn't have to do a thing.

My week-old bridal mani is going strong! Please ignore my blotchy sunburn. pic.twitter.com/ICCAGhVELH
— Belle Femme (@SaBelleFemme) March 28, 2014

All of us except for E had mani/pedis at a fabulous salon and spa within walking distance of our hotel. I chose a very sheer pink for my hands and a hot pink for my feet. Then I had my hair and makeup trial. Normally this would be a sooner than the day of the rehearsal, but we obviously don't live in San Antonio. I explained to my hair stylist that I wanted bigger, more defined curls than my natural wavy hair, and I showed her the tiara headband I wanted to wear. I told my makeup artist that I wanted my look to be "natural, but bridal."

I was thrilled with how it turned out! 

Between the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner

My appointment Saturday morning didn't go quite as planned, but I still looked beautiful, and the hiccups were minor in the grand scheme of things. 

This is a staged "first look" picture.

Clearly Beau thought I was beautiful! But then again, he always thinks I'm beautiful, even when I'm bare-faced with my hair all messy. That's why I married him! ♥ 

P.S. For a different perspective on bridal beauty, please look at my friend Carolyn's post on why she didn't wear makeup on her wedding day!
Linking up with Meredith, Nancy J, and Mary for Wedding Wednesday! 

To Shave or Not to Shave: A Hairy Debate (Influenster Venus Snap with Embrace Review)

I'm a feminist, but I've still absorbed the social conditioning of American beauty standards to think that my legs and underarms are better when they're smooth.



It's ridiculous, I know, especially when you look at the history of female hair removal and realize that in America, at least, it's a fairly recent concept. Basically marketers are geniuses and the American public is stupid, so when marketers told us about all these awesome products for removing leg and underarm hair post-WWI, we started buying all these awesome products that we never needed before.

But even though I'm informed about marketing schemes and impossible beauty standards, I still prefer to have smooth-ish legs and arms.

Except I'm also lazy. I gave up on shaving cream in high school and switched to inexpensive conditioner. I gave up on using anything except water in France, when my experiment of shaving in bath water led me to discover how quickly and painlessly I can shave if I do so under running water.

So when Influenster sent me Gillette Venus Snap with Embrace, I was intrigued. 

Just activate with water? No need to lather up? Use it on the go?

What kind of genius product was this?!

While Gillette is promoting their new razor as small enough for a purse and the perfect product for shaving touch-ups while you're out and about, I think it's the perfect product for lazy shavers like me. 

I've used it as suggested for under my arms. I just rinsed the razor and shaved under one arm, then rinsed and repeated. Less than 30 seconds to bare underarms, with none of the previous mess of splashing water on my underarms.

I've also used it in the shower, under running water, the way I use all my razors. I won't say it gives me a closer shave, nor is it faster to use, but the small design makes it easier to shave my knees, which frequently get missed. 


My only complaint is that the price of the razor and refill blades is a bit steep, especially compared to my Bic Soleil disposable razors. The razor is $9-10 online and in stores. A 4-pack of refill blades retails between $15 and $18.

Sometimes my laziness--and an unexpected trip to the grocery store--really does trump all, however. On Monday Beau called me at the end of work and suggested we go to Kroger right away to pick up things for dinner. I looked down at my tank top and shorts, with my fuzzy underarms and fuzzy legs, and agreed anyway. Even though I shaved with my new Venus Snap later that night, I can thank feminism for giving me the confidence to go out in public, body hair and all, without giving two fucks what people thought of me. 

*As a member of Influenster, I received the Venus Snap for free. My review is my unbiased opinion, and it's not even required in exchange for the product. Also there is an Amazon Affiliate link if you're so inclined to try out the Venus Snap yourself. 

Sunday Shoutouts: Products Unreviewed

Me: It's Sunday!!! You know what that means?
Beau: Shoutouts!
Me: Good job.

So... that just happened.

Best Marriage Advice: I absolutely LOVE this post by Kim over at She Is Fierce. Kim explains that as much as she loves her husband and children, they do not "complete her." I've always found the idea of needing another person to be "complete" very unsettling, so it was refreshing to hear a married woman agree with me.

Best Historical Post on Breastfeeding: I can't believe I'm sharing a Buzzfeed post... but I'm a total sucker for both history and the right for mothers to breastfeed in public.

Best Scientific Post on Breastfeeding: The first article I read was via Jezebel, that summarized a new study questioning the superiority of breastfeeding over formula. This post is a press release that includes quotations from one of the scientists, along with her contact information. While there are certainly benefits to breastfeeding, like boosting an infant's immune system, it's great to see some research that highlights the socioeconomic influence on childhood health.

In other (blogging) news... I haven't had the chance to try out two of the products I received in my VoxBox. I've never worn fake eyelashes before. Since receiving my VoxBox last week, I haven't done anything fancy enough or exciting enough to try them out. I mean, I wore jeans and a sweater to a wine tasting Friday night, no make-up. Why would I bother experimenting with my KISS Looks So Natural Lashes for such mundane activities? I hope to try them soon, but my review will be limited to Instagram.

I also haven't tried out my John Frieda Frizz Ease 3-Day Straight Flat Iron Spray. I don't know if y'all have noticed this or not, but I have curly/wavy hair. I don't even own a blow dryer, let alone a flat iron. My best friend Lauren sometimes straightens her hair, so I plan to give her the sample to try out.

Curls everywhere, pretending to do a keg stand in Niort, April 2011

Keep your eyes posted for my thoughts on the other products I was sent to review!

What have you been doing this week?

Read anything interesting?

Write something controversial?

Let me know!

*Influenster sent me these products to test and review. 

G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S in Miami

A week ago, I was in Miami, spending two nights in a glamorous hotel, riding in the backseat of a Lincoln Town car, allowing valets and drivers to open all doors for me, enjoying the handiwork of the three stylists who did my hair and make-up, taking selfies with my bestie and sorority sister of eight years who doubled as my entourage.

Fancy hotel pool! Unfortunately, we got kicked out. It's not officially open yet, alas.

I'm pretty sure I hashtagged everything on twitter and instagram as #fancy, because seriously, it was the only word to describe my surroundings.

The fancy tissue flower in the fancy bathroom in the fancy hotel.

The Fusion Network, a new TV channel that launched in October 2013, was my host for the trip. They wanted me to come on their shows Alicia Menendez Tonight and Documental to talk about the documentary How to Lose Your Virginity, which includes an interview with Beau and me.

Getting my hair straightened before filming Alicia Menendez Tonight.

I was in Miami less than 48 hours. While I enjoyed the royal treatment, it was an exhausting trip. I only slept five hours both Thursday and Friday night, so I was pretty happy to sleep on the plane home Saturday morning. 

As beautiful as I looked with professional hair and make-up, I remembered Friday night that the glam life is not for me. It's fun for a day or two, but at the end of the day, that's not who I am.

Fancy hair and makeup!

Two towelettes to remove all the make-up Friday night.

I'm a curly-haired, bare-faced, hoodie and jeans kind of woman.

And that's okay.

Beau likes to take surprise pictures of me at the zoo.

I Feel Most Beautiful When...

My weekend is so wonderful that I barely spend anytime online and completely forget to write a blog post about feeling beautiful.

If you're reading this right now, sorry, boyfriend >>>>>> blog. I will try and write a real blog post about beauty while it's still September 30th.

I feel beautiful when I wake up in the morning, my hair a mess, my mouth all dry and icky, with Beau snuggling me and whispering, "Good morning, love" in my ear.

I feel beautiful when I ask Beau if my hair looks all right, and he rolls his eyes and tells me that I know perfectly well my hair is perfect and glorious.

I feel beautiful when I'm sick, and Beau makes me hot tea and tells me he loves me.

I feel beautiful because I feel loved, I feel cherished, I feel valued.

Feeling beautiful can be about actual physical attractiveness, nice hair, pretty make-up, but mostly it's about affirmation.

Sexual attractiveness is dictated by an individual, by a culture, or by a time period, but beauty comes from God. We are made in God's image--how can we not be beautiful?

I'm not always successful in my attempts not to judge other people or make rude remarks about people's appearances. I'm trying, though. I'm trying to remember to affirm people rather than tear them down. 

I feel most beautiful when I am loved unconditionally, as God loves me unconditionally.

To find the beauty in others, I need to remember that God first loved me, and thus I should love others in turn.

When do you feel most beautiful? Link up with Betsy, me, and everyone else this week!

Feeling Beautiful

It was hard to find a photo of myself that I genuinely love, that doesn't show my face. Most of my favorite pictures are of me smiling or laughing, when it's not just my mouth turned up, but my whole face is animated with joy.

But I can't share those pictures here.

It's uneven because I cut out the proofs and scanned my favorites.

This is a picture I've used in a few spots around my blog, sometimes with text over it, sometimes alone.

I was a debutante my sophomore year of college. This involved many fun events, one of which was a photo shoot for my debutante portraits. We hired a local photographer* (who is brilliant and award-winning), and we received permission from a woman at church to use her gorgeous house (mansion) and backyard for the shoot.

I love the simple elegance of this picture. It's so peaceful to me. Being a debutante was a very exciting, but busy period in my life. One of the quiet joys was feeling beautiful, and believing that feeling beautiful is okay. This picture helps me remember that.


 

*If you live in the South, and you are interested in this photographer, email me. If I find out you're in the same southern state as my home state, I will be happy to provide you with his details. 

Pretending to be a Fashion Blogger

I'm not a fashion blogger. Not even close. I might occasionally tweet pictures with the hashtag #OOTD, but that's a pretty rare occurrence. Not to mention all photos are self-portraits in horrible lighting.

In the winter, I rotate between jeans, black slacks, black corduroy leggings, and gray sweater leggings paired with a rotation of long-sleeved shirts, 3/4-sleeved shirts, and sweaters in a mostly black, white, and gray color scheme and an assortment of colorful scarves.

The Midwest is cold, even in the spring. The weather in the last several weeks has been all over the place. My clothes have to accommodate an office that's usually cool, a department store that ranges from freezing to boiling, and the outdoors itself. 

In other words, I basically wear the same pair of floral skinny jeans almost every day.

3/4-sleeved gray sweater purchased on sale from The Loft in January 2013, pink boots bought in Bordeaux in December 2010

My Boobs Have Nothing to Do with You

According to twitter, clearly the world’s authority on everything ever, today is Cleavage Appreciation Day. Obviously some women have gotten really into it, tweeting shots of their cleavage (or even just their bra-clad boobs), with the hashtag #CleavageAppreciationDay. Other women are pretty against it, and they’re calling out basically all women who show cleavage ever as 1) lacking self-respect 2) being desperate for attention and/or 3) acting slutty. Some men are all “Woo, boobs!” and some men are all, “How darest these harlots cause me to have sinful thoughts?”

This is a pretty clear example of a larger debate in American society. Hell, to an extent, it’s an example of a lifelong issue within Christianity. Women are either the Virgin or the Whore, and we are criticized heavily regardless of our choice.

But I’ve already discussed the prude/slut dichotomy. This post is about boobs, a companion piece of sorts to my previous rant on boob-shaming. If I write this correctly, I will somehow tie together my problem with the Church’s view on modesty, my support of female sexuality, rape culture, and body autonomy. All with pictures of my cleavage and pissed off indignation that some people have the audacity to think they know anything about me based on my aforementioned cleavage. 

Age 19, Delta Nu* Initiation Banquet. An outfit heavily criticized for showing "too much" cleavage.

Why I'm a Feminist (Part Three): Gender Inequality Makes Me Angry

Assholes like to belittle women’s rights activists, dismissing us as “angry feminists.” Normally I bristle against stereotypes of any kind, but especially ones that try to limit who I am as a person. Just like being a virgin doesn't make me frigid or judgmental, being a feminist doesn't make me a bitch or a man-hater.

But the assholes have one thing right. 

I am angry.

I’m angry that the War on Women isn't just a political catchphrase. Republican legislators across the country, at the federal and state level, have introduced, and often passed, legislation 

• to force women seeking an abortion to undergo unnecessary procedures, or 
• to force women to carry even stillborn children to term after 20 weeks, or 
• to legalize the murder of abortion providers, or 
• to redefine rape, or 
• to force doctors to lie to patients, or 
• to restrict access to birth control while criminalizing all abortion.

I’m angry that Bill Clinton is still the Democrat’s Golden Boy. I don’t care that he cheated on his wife—that is his personal business. But how many women have accused him of sexual harassment, like Paula Jones? Of sexual assault, like Kathleen Willey? Of rape, like Juanita Broaddrick? Accusations date back to BEFORE he was even governor. So all you rape apologists who want to doubt his victims’ credibility can just stop. I thought the Democratic Party supported women’s rights…

I'm angry that my twin brother called me a slut and a whore for years, in front of all our mutual friends, and not a single one of  them stood up for me. I had committed the unforgivable crime of developing breasts, and I had to be shamed for it.

I’m angry at the number of times I had to ask to choose a famous person not on the proposed list for essays, papers, and projects. Why? I wanted to write about famous women.

I’m angry that I earned a reputation in my non-WGS history classes as the feminist. Why? I was the only one who consistently questioned gender bias, who asked about the women. In today’s day and age, what kind of history students ignore the history of half the world’s population?

I’m angry that my home church won’t allow women to serve in ordained positions. Women are allowed to be deacons, but not elders or ministers. My father is an elder, and I know he does his best to represent my mother and me, along with my brothers. I remember how proud I was when I found out he had been nominated. I cried when he told me he almost didn't accept it. He had to pray about it and talk to my mother because he wondered if it was wrong to accept a leadership role denied to my mother.

I’m angry that women are held up to an impossible standard of beauty. Be skinny, but not too skinny. Be curvy, but not too curvy. Be really pale or really tan, but not in-between. Always wear make-up in public, but never look like you’re wearing make-up. Wear the latest styles, but only wear styles that flatter your figure. Wear the latest colors, but only wear colors that flatter your skin tone. 

I'm angry that a sexual double standard still exists. My blood boiled when I first heard the comparison of men and women to keys and locks. 

I'm angry that most movies and TV shows fail the Bechdel Test.

I'm angry that so many of the twitter accounts I follow do stupid trending topics like #MyPerfectHusbandIs and #HowToMakeAWomanHappy, both of which just reek with outdated gender stereotypes.

I'm angry that I can't tell anyone from home that I'm bisexual. I'm angry that my sexuality is dismissed as greedy, or experimental, or denial. I'm angry that I have to lie to my family, to all my friends from high school, to most of my friends from college, to everyone at church. I'm angry that I can't marry a woman in my home state.

So go ahead.

Call me an angry feminist.

You are 100 fucking percent correct.

And the Liebster Blog Award Goes To... Belle Vierge!

Y'all.

The funny and colorful Kristen over at Mama Winkle's Blog nominated me for a blog award!

The Liebster Blog Award is given to bloggers by bloggers. It is a way to acknowledge each other and say “You're all sorts of awesome." It's only for blogs with 200 or less followers, so it’s also a great way to spread the word about smaller blogs and get them more readers and followers! When you receive the award, you post 11 random facts about yourself and answer 11 questions from the person(s) who nominated you. You pass the award onto 11 other blogs (make sure you tell them you nominated them!) and ask them 11 questions. You’re not allowed to nominate the blog(s) who nominated you!

My 11 Random Facts:

1. Harry Potter is my favorite book series, hands down, but Philippa Gregory is my all-time favorite author.
 

2. I love pretty much any beverage or food with lime. Diet Coke with Lime, gin & tonic, Bud Light Lime. I haven't bought them in ages, but the tortilla chips with lime. Yummy.
 

3. Before last summer, I thought koozies were the most stupid thing ever. But now I have at least one in my purse at any given point in time, and I rarely drink canned beverages without one.

From @SrattyStyle

4. I started questioning my sexuality in middle school. I finally realized I was bisexual halfway through my senior year of high school. I never told a soul until one fateful evening in London, many many years after I'd graduated high school.
 

5. I like to eat fresh fruits and vegetables, but I don't like to prepare them.
 

6. I miss being paid to cook dinner for myself and three kids. I ate so healthily last year. I'm already struggling to maintain a good diet cooking for one. =/ 

Roast beef with roasted carrots and potatoes.

7. I have a thing for elves. I think Legolas is the sexiest Orlando Bloom has ever been.
 

8. I am so blessed to have the friends that I do, but sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the sheer number of good friends I have. I worry that I'm not a good enough friend to them. I wish I could spend more time with each of them.
 

9. I don't understand people who carry a balance on their credit card unless it was for an unexpected emergency expense. Example: when I had to pay for six cavities all at once. Or for a gap in income. I get paid this week for the first time in seven weeks. I'll pay off my Visa in full easily, but I'll have to carry a balance for a while on my American Express (but I currently have 0% APR). And this wouldn't be an issue at all if I hadn't needed to spend about $500 in medical expenses. It's just not that hard to spend only what you earn.
 

10. Sometimes the boyfriend and I skype, but don't really talk. We each do our own thing and just comment if we feel like sharing something. I just like seeing the little video of him in the corner of my screen. #lesigh
 

11. I calculate my gas mileage every time I fill up. Lately it's been really good, about 28-31 MPG, but today it was only 25 MPG. To quote my bestie: boo hiss!

Joyeux Anniversaire à Moi... (les 9 et 10 juin)

The entire month of June is devoted to celebrating my birthday, in case anyone was wondering.

I forgot to write in my first birthday post that the day before (le 7 juin), I treated myself to a facial* and a manicure. Nothing says eternal youth and beauty like glowing skin and sparkly nails!

Blue and silver

On Saturday, the boyfriend and I exemplified our nerdiness by going to the Ontario Science Centre. Our original plans of visiting the nude beach were rudely interrupted by a forecast for thunderstorms all day (which never materialized, of course). After a very late lunch and a stop by the liquor store for champagne (well, sparkling wine, but from Ontario, which I thought was cool!), we headed to the tattoo parlor!

Yup, I now have a black fleur-de-lis on my back, just under the left side of my bra band. It is beautiful.* The boyfriend was very supportive, holding my hand the whole time. It didn't hurt nearly as much as my foot tattoo, though.**

Sunday was gorgeous, and I wanted to enjoy it outside. We skipped Casa Loma and headed to the zoo! Basically we spent half our time looking at the polar bears. The boyfriend and I have decided to have a pet polar bear one day.*** They were just so cute! The Toronto Zoo has a polar bear cub right now, and he was seriously the most adorable thing ever. The adult polar bears were awesome as well.

All in all, it was a fabulous weekend.

Don't worry. We enjoyed lots of naked time too. ;)

*Checked off two goals from my list of 101 Things in 1001 Days!

**NO ONE IN MY FAMILY KNOWS! DO NOT TELL THEM!

***I wish we could actually have a pet polar bear. Alas. Only in our dreams.

May the Odds Be Ever in Your Favor... As You Choose Just ONE Color

We will return to our originally-scheduled, virginity-related blog posts once I write about everything The Hunger Games. Please excuse my current literary, cinematic, cosmetic obsession.

Yes, I just referred to a book trilogy and movie franchise as cosmetic.

You know how popular books and movies have about a gagillion product tie-ins? Because yay money! Right?

After reading multiple reviews and looking at many swatches, I gave in and bought six nail polishes from the China Glaze Colors from the Capitol collection.

This is why I'm not a make-up or fashion blogger.

I ended up buying (L to R) Agro, Dress Me Up, Smoke & Ashes, Harvest Moon, Stone Cold, and Fast Track. (I also bought a polish from a different collection, called Ahoy! It's on my nails right now). I rarely buy nail polish, so splurging on seven at once is a bit of a big deal for me. But my oldest child Annie* does my nails for me, so they've been nicely manicured since September. Her enthusiasm for new colors is contagious, and when I found them online for only $2.99 each... I just couldn't resist.

So far I've only tried Smoke & Ashes as my accent nail with Fast Track as my primary polish, and I've only tried Stone Cold as my accent nail with Ahoy! as my primary polish. Did I take photos of either of these combinations? 

Bwahahaha!

Of course not.

This is why I'm not a beauty blogger.

But for actual, in-depth reviews with pretty pictures, check out The Lacquered Lady or All Lacquered Up.

Basically, I'm in love with these colors. 

How can I relate this post to virginity? Umm...

Even virgins wear nail polish?

Works for me. ;)

*Not her real name. Duh.