Saturday, March 3, 2012

The Boyfriend and OKC (Part One): Desperate Men and Shy Women

Oh. Em. Gee! You guys!!!! Yes, I'm dating the most amazing man ever, who loves me so much that not only does he support me blogging about our love life, but look! He wrote the very first guest post (requests for more guest posts coming soon--big thanks for my volunteers!) to be featured here! *le sigh* I'm a lucky lucky lady... But without further ado, an introduction to online dating, in his own words...

Hello to everyone out there. Here I am... Man friend, boyfriend, beau_vierge, whatever you want to call me (I don’t need to be anon, but Belle wants to be, and I support that). Belle asked for guest posts, and I finally got the time to write one. So here it goes.*

*Warning, this post will read like it’s written by an engineer. Sorry, I can’t help it. It may contain math, statistics, and excessive logic.

I joined OKC back in April of 2010. Yeah, that’s a crazy long time ago. OKC was a new site at the time, and I LOVED the statistics it used. Match percentages, algorithms, and the best part, OKTrends. I had tried a few dating websites before, but only free ones. I looked at the pay dating sites, but they are all run like scams. Sure, just sign right up, and then we’ll tell you how much the monthly cost is...

More than them not saying the price, the worst part about pay dating sites is the incentives. The incentive is for them to make money, right? Well, the billing system is set up on a unit time basis... So the longer you are on the dating site, the more money they make. Sounds like their incentive is for you NOT to find dates. For a more detailed explanation, check out this website:

Note that it’s an archived page because OKTrends took it down... Which brings me to yet another reason I am excessively lucky. I found Belle just after acquired OKC, and thus their website is in decline, and my favorite part, OKTrends, died. As a result, I would have quit the site and missed meeting the woman of my dreams.

But this isn’t what you came here for, listening to me rant about pay dating websites--it was to hear about my experience. Well, I think this is a good lead-in as to why online dating is fundamentally broken. There are two simple reasons:

1) Pay sites are in the business of keeping you single
2) Free sites have no controls to weed people out

Let me explain the general dating game as portrayed in OKTrends: Men spam women. Women don’t read spam.

Let me give you my numbers: During my roughly 1.3 years of using OKC, I had a total of 103 conversations. Of those 103, 16 were initiated by someone else (usually female, but 2 were from males). Out of those 87 messages that I sent out seeking love, I received a reply 32 times. Wow, less than half of women on the online dating site were even willing to say anything, even if it was “no, thanks” (for reference, I replied to every single one of the 16 sent to me).

Ok, so let’s finish with the numbers since I started them... Out of those 32 replies, 29 turned into a conversation consisting of several messages (what can I say, I will have a conversation with just about anybody). Out of those 29, 10 turned into an actual, real-life meeting. Out of those 10, 5 consisted of more than one meeting. And out of those 5, there was only one Belle.

Now admittedly, I probably could have turned more of those conversations into dates if it weren’t for living in a small town in the middle of nowhere STATE CENSORED BY BELLE. I would assume that living in an urban area would greatly increase my date potential. I am thankful Belle was willing to put up with a long-distance relationship, because many women aren’t, especially at our age.

So now you know the stats of my online dating experience... Stay tuned for Part Two which reveals my strategy for getting the most out of online dating, finding a special someone,** and how I got lucky.***

**Warning: May take actual effort on your part.
***The term “got lucky” could refer to having sex, but as you are on this website... Yeah, you can figure out that I mean I am dating the wonderful Belle, and despite our virginities remaining intact, am still getting lucky every time I get to talk to her, see her on skype, and yes, have all the non-sex sex we can.


  1. That's so cute!! I wrote about online dating a few weeks ago and it's so nice to see a success story like your guys. I look forward to part two!

    1. Glad you enjoyed it! He's amazing in so many ways, but his unconditional support for this blog really blows me away. Check the online dating tag for other posts about our adventures in this scary, unknown realm...

  2. I was on OKC for way too long (5 years). And I recently just disabled my account. I have told a lot of my friends and all the conversations have gone something like this:

    Friend: "Oh, so your dating someone? "
    Me: "Nope"
    Friends: "So your on a different site now?"
    Me: "Nope"
    Friends "So your gonna try some single's only Meetups?"
    Me: "Nope, just gonna live life."
    Friends: "Huh, well that sounds like a good idea."

    Online dating can be really fun and leads a lot of people to love. I am taking a break and at some point might dip my toes in other dating pools. I look forward to following your posts!

    1. Haha, yeah, some people think being in a relationship is the only thing that matters in life. I was on OKC just to meet people for funsies, not start a relationship (that plan failed... oops). But before the boyfriend, I was totally happy single, and some people just did NOT get it.

      Thanks for reading & commenting. :)


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Comments are moderated because I receive a lot of spam, and I think CAPTCHA is annoying. I reply to most of your comments within the comment section because it inspires discussion between readers. For first-time commenters, I try to reply by email.

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