Sunday, May 27, 2012

Virgin Myths: Virgins Can't Get Laid

Cherry graphic via
I've tried to figure out why some people are so surprised when they find out I'm a virgin. Is it my low-cut dress? My mad kissing skills? My friendly, flirtatious manner?

The fact that I defy other virgin myths is definitely part of it. When you see me, and you compare me to this image of virgins you have in your head, we don't match up. Even if your thought isn't Under different circumstances, I would sleep with her, you're probably at least thinking I know some guys who would sleep with her.

It's confusing that I'm a virgin because, at least to some people, I'm desirable.

Myth: Virgins haven't had sex yet because they just can't get laid/ no one finds them desirable/ no one wants to sleep with them.

I really really don't like this myth primarily because it removes any control a virgin has over his or her own sex life. It creates a norm--everyone wants to have sex. If you haven't had sex, clearly it's because no one is interested in you.

In one of my earliest posts, I shared a few stories in which I had to handle the subject of my virginity. One of those stories was the first time a man ever asked me if I wanted to make love. He was French, so the whole conversation was in French, but the meaning is the same.

I could share all the times when a man tried to sleep with me, but for once, I think brevity will be more effective.

I very very very very much want to make love with* the boyfriend.

The feeling is mutual.

We're two virgins who definitely want to have sex with each other.

We've just decided to wait until we're married.

My virginity, my choice. His virginity, his choice.

We're not passive people sitting around, hoping someone will turn us into sexual objects. We are both active agents in control of our own sex lives, two virgins choosing to save PIV sex for marriage.


*I originally had "make love to," but the boyfriend commented that I should change it to reflect something we'll enjoy together.


  1. I think it's great...and I never fed into that myth, I truly know it is a work of art and takes a great deal of discipline and control. I'm very weak in this department, LOL! Kudos to you and people should never think it's because *you can't*, it's very much so that you want to, but you CHOOSE not to. It is a choice, and everyone has that choice to make (well, unfortunately some do not, but that's an entirely different post).

    1. Thank you! I work so hard to be open-minded and non-judgmental about what other people choose to DO in the bedroom. It upsets me when others don't extend the same courtesy on what I've chosen NOT to do. But hey, I'm dealing with my feelings--I started a blog. ;)


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