In honor of Mother's Day, I want to
write about one of the best gifts my mom ever gave me: The Talk.
Can we just stop for a moment here and
contemplate talking to kids about sex? I'm not a parent, but I am an
au pair, and I have to handle S-E-X so carefully in conversation. (My
older kids are 13 and 10, so, yeah, it's come up once or twice). I
have no idea how I'm going to navigate that discussion when I have my
own kids one day, but I really hope I do as good of a job as my mom
did with my twin brother and me.
"Man to Man," in Once Upon a Mattress
My mom gave my twin brother and me “The
Talk” when we were ten, an awkward but necessary conversation.* One
of these days I should thank her for her perfectly balanced lecture
(and for arranging it so we didn't have to look her in the eye). One
night while cooking dinner, she told H and me we needed to talk about
something. While she busied herself in the kitchen, we sat down and
listened. She first presented the argument for abstinence until
marriage, explaining “our” beliefs as Christians. She also told
us that sex was a beautiful form of intimacy best shared between a
husband and wife.
But because my mom totally rocks, she
then continued with both an overview of contraception and the
importance of never pressuring a future partner. We learned that
condoms protected against pregnancy and STDs, that birth control
pills were effective against pregnancy, but best used in a monogamous
relationship because they did nothing to protect against STDs. We
learned that sex should be a mutual decision in a relationship, that
we should never feel pressured to do something we're not ready to do,
that we should never pressure a future partner.
My mom ended by telling us that she
hoped we decided to wait until marriage, but that when we were older,
and if we were in a serious relationship, and if we decided to have
sex with our significant other, then she hoped we would feel
comfortable talking to her or our dad if we had any questions or
concerns.
That was it.
That was The Talk.
Was it awkward? Of course.
Could it have been worse? Oh, Lord,
yes, and thank God it wasn't!
Did it cover everything a good Talk
should? Yes, it did, and I'm so grateful for it.
*Sex Ed at our school started in the sixth
grade, so although I don't remember exactly when we received The
Talk, it was before sixth grade started. Aka when we were 10.
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