Monday, March 24, 2014

A Week of Love, Sex, and Marriage

love, sex, marriage, virginity, relationships

At this point, you've probably figured out why I asked for thematic blog posts this week to talk about "Love, Sex, and Marriage." I'm writing this 11 days before my wedding day, the day Beau becomes my husband, and we give up our status as virgins.

While my theme for the week specifically covers love, sex, and marriage, this is hardly the first time I've written on these topics. Over 30 of my blog posts are tagged "marriage," and another 30+ blog posts are tagged "love."

So what did I say about marriage before actually getting married?

Chapel in the mountains of Wyoming

Marriage is about you and your spouse. It's not solely about you, and it's not solely about your spouse. As Beau so brilliantly stated, "Love is about someone else. But marriage is a mutual commitment between two people."
The Bride, by Niki de St. Phalle, the Centre Pompidou in Paris
La Mariée, by Niki de St. Phalle; Le Centre Pomidou
My marriage to Beau is about the two of us coming together as a family, but we don't need to share a last name to be unified. I am keeping my last name because I think adopting my husband's last name is an archaic tradition that reeks of patriarchy and ownership. I am keeping my last name because I love my last name. I am keeping my last name as a sign of my independence and my feminist beliefs. 

love, relationships, engagement, photography

In a biblical and very heteronormative way, our marriage is also about becoming one in a literal (and sexual) sense. I do not believe that premarital sex is a sin, and I have not believed that ever since I took Feminist Biblical Interpretation to fulfill the final requirement for my concentration in Women’s and Gender Studies. Yet, when I think of making love for the first time, scripture is the first thought that comes to mind.‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate. Mark 10: 7-9

As I look back on my old blog posts, I'm amazed at how far Beau and I have come. My blog on virginity inadvertently turned into a chronicle of our relationship, from our first date to our wedding day. I knew a little bit about romantic love and marriage before Beau, but being in love with him and preparing for a life together is unlike anything I ever could have imagined. 

And my faithful readers have been with us, some of you since the very beginning. Thank you for sticking with me as I've tackled my own complicated thoughts and feelings on sex and virginity. Thank you for putting up with all my mushy posts on LOVE

Most of all, thank you for understanding that my views on sex and virginity are my own, and they don't reflect a condemnation of anyone who feels differently. I have found so much more love and support in writing this blog than I could have ever imagined. 

I might have married Beau,
but I still love each and every one of YOU. 

P.S. Don't worry--I don't plan on leaving the blogosphere! I'll still be writing about virginity and feminism, just no longer from the perspective of a coital virgin. 


  1. So many congratulations! I squealed a little when I read your weekend post. x

  2. Congratulations! So excited for you two, your families, and friends as your relationship enters a new phase!! "May the joy of beginning this journey together never fade."

    1. Thank you!!! We're pretty excited too. Being married is AWESOME so far!

  3. CONGRATULATIONS!!! That is so exciting!!!

  4. YAY! Congrats! So excited for you and Beau!!

  5. I know I'm late commenting here, but congrats! I'm so excited for you guys!!


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