Wednesday, February 12, 2014

On Love, Valentine's Day, and Self-Care

So much relationship advice centers around the other person, not you. But as I've written before, a relationship is about two people, not just one. 

I recently defended my devotion to Beau on facebook, in yet another conversation with people who question my desire to keep my last name upon marriage. I pointed out everything I've done for him because I love him and I put him first.

But putting Beau first does not mean prioritizing his wants and needs to the detriment of my well-being. Having a healthy, successful relationship doesn't just include taking care of your significant other, but looking after yourself.

Last night I focused on me. It was a night of love and relaxation, a gift for me, from me. I went to a local spa for a facial. My skin is still glowing, 24 hours later! Then I came home and treated myself to sparkling wine, honeyed goat cheese, and strawberries. I finished reading my book for my online book club and then met with my friends on Google Hangouts to discuss it. After such a glorious night, I was able to fall asleep easily, without any medication, something that's rare these days without Beau in bed next to me.

In fact, based on the conversation I just had with my mom, I'm pretty sure sleep tonight will be Benadryl-induced once again.

Valentine's Day might normally be about romantic love, but that doesn't mean we can't expand the theme. If you don't already have hot Valentine's Day plans, consider indulging in some self-care of the person who has always been there: YOU. And even if you already have a date lined up, or fun plans with your friends, don't forget to spend some love and attention on yourself.


  1. love this! if everyone would just accept valentine's day for what it is: a day of love...of all kinds, especially yourself, we'd all be happier!

    1. Exactly! There should be no hard or fast rules on how to celebrate Valentine's Day, aside from focusing on love. Any kind of love! Express it in any way! Tonight Beau and I had wings and beer in bed while watching Star Trek. It wasn't much different than all the other times we have wings and beer while watching Star Trek, but it's an evening we enjoy together. :)

  2. oh man that sounds excellent - can I copy you on that evening and make it a monthly thing?

    1. Of course you can! I look forward to the day when I can afford more frequent facials. They're SOOO luxurious.


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