Confessions of an Online Feminist Activist

I'm working from home today. This is the only day all week that I'm not closing at JCP. The amount of time I spend working at my two jobs is just ironic in contrast to today's question. Normally, I have LOTS of ways to describe what I do other than work. But last week, coming in at 25 hours at JCP, and this week, with 27 hours scheduled, basically all I do is work. Plus I'm at my first job 30+ hours each week. So right now, yes, what I do is work. But this post is all about the non-work stuff I do most.



I spend a lot of time online. This is partly because I'm a twenty-something living in the 21st century, and partly because I have breaks during my workday that are long enough to browse the Internet but too short to leave the office (or the mall). Prior to moving to the Midwest, it was also largely in part because Beau lived far far away from me. 

I'm a feminist. Unless this is the first blog post you have ever read by me, then you already know this. I don't hide it. You don't have to know me very long to find out I'm a feminist. 

What do these characteristics have in common? My form of activism. Although I have joked before about being a slacktivist, I've recently decided to give myself more credit. It's not as though my feminist activism is limited to copying & pasting facebook statuses or retweeting stuff. I spend a LOT of time reading up on the latest issues in regards to women, LGBTQ+, sexual assault, gender roles, libertarianism, politics, religion/Christianity, and especially how all these things tie together. I blog about some of it here. I tweet about a lot of it. And I share articles to facebook.

Only a tiny group of people have any idea how much time I spend researching and then adding thoughtful commentary to what I find. Since May 1, 2013, I have shared nine links to facebook that resulted in five conversations with 2+ people each (other than me). Plus I engaged my friends in conversation on street harassment via an informal poll as my facebook status. I've routinely sparked conversations with 10+ people that have resulted in 50+ comments. In the last five months, I've had about a dozen people on facebook, most of whom are not close friends, tell me how much they appreciate everything I post and how passionate and unapologetic I am about my beliefs.

Then, of course, I have my anonymous life. I'm not gonna lie--I wish more people would comment on my blog. But the comments I have received have been so encouraging, not to mention the emails and twitter DMs that I receive. The overwhelming message--aside from a few trolls & MRAs--has been that I write what people need to hear, but not enough people are saying it.

So what do I do?

I read. I listen. I share. I engage. I inspire. I argue.

But most of all, I write. I write passionately about what I know, what I think, what I believe, what I hope, what I dream.

I write,

 because it is the best way

 for me to make 

the world a better place.

I have as many blogger favorites as I do best friends...

I worked 1-8:30pm at JCP today. As usual, I'm exhausted and my feet hurt. Also working two jobs is why I haven't replied to any of the emails I've received in the last two weeks. But it's too early in the month to skip a daily challenge, so here goes nothing!



For a long time, the only buttons on my sidebar were of bloggers with whom I had swapped buttons. I had a bit of a sulky attitude, to be perfectly honest, about "featuring" someone who wasn't doing anything for me, especially if it was a blogger who accepted money for advertising. I know. Real mature. I'm not exactly proud to admit this. But I recently decided that I wanted to show off buttons of my favorite bloggers, regardless of their own blog policies. Bloggers who don't have buttons are listed underneath the heading "What I'm Reading." (Technically, Casey has two cute buttons, but they're too wide for my sidebar, and I've been too busy/tired to email her for a smaller one to include). 

I wish I could spend a few hours explaining why I follow the blogs I do, and which ones are truly the absolute best. But I can't stop yawning. So this will be short and sweet and without links or pictures at least until tomorrow when I'm actually awake.




Lauren blogs at Our Crazy After about her marriage to Jesse, their struggles with infertility, her life as a nanny, her doggies, and more. She is funny, honest, and one of my first blogging friends.


Emily blogs at Hopeful Wandering about her long-distance relationship with her English boyfriend Tom... Yeah, mostly that. Since I'm in a medium-distance relationship with Beau, after almost a year of being long-distance, I can relate. Also, Emily likes France, and she studied abroad there last year. Good enough for me.

Bonnie blogs at Life of Bon. She is probably one of the few "big" bloggers I follow. I currently have an ad on her sidebar, so you should go check it out and tell me how good it looks. ;) Bonnie writes about everything. Literally everything. Except her blog is very PG because her entire really big family and even some of her students read it. Even so, she's not afraid to admit to screwing up and asking her readers for advice/feedback. Also, she's Mormon. Jess blogs at Jessica Lynn Writes. My first-ever ad was with her. She's a military wife in Italy with an adorable newborn baby girl. Her husband is skinny like Beau is, but I haven't figured out yet if he's nerdy or not Jess confirmed it. He's totally nerdy. I knew it!


Ashley Marie has just returned to the world of blogging. A newborn, new hubby, and fixer-upper farm has kept her life busy! When she does blog, she muses about life and helps keep things in perspective. She posts cute fashion posts on outfits made with bargains, along with the occasional DIY project.

 
Betsy blogs at Betsy Transatlantically. I found her via Casey! Betsy is planning a wedding to be in England with her British fiancé while she lives and works in D.C... I know. Gurl be awesome. She is bubbly and spirited, but she can also be reflective. She inspired by post on my Christian Feminist beliefs!

Casey blogs at We Took the Road Less Traveled. My second-ever ad was with her. :) She's a military wife in Germany, and she blogs about their travels and their relationship. Her relationship with her husband is just SO romantic and SO sweet and if Casey weren't so genuine and humble and all that, I would be incredibly jealous. Even though my relationship with Beau is perfect, sometimes I wonder what it would be like if we had found each other earlier.

Melissa blogs at Pigtail Pals and Ballcap Buddies. She's a feminist mother of two who works to create a better, more creative, less limited world for her children.

Dani blogs at The Lacquered Lady where she provides make-up and other beauty reviews. When I bought a bunch of new nail polish last year, I went to her blog first to pick out my colors.

Lauren blogs at Sweet Southern Sophistication about her relationship, her faith, fashion, and food.

Elle blogs at Elle Sees about her weekly goals, her dog, and fashion, but mostly Elle writes about beauty. She has great beauty DIY tricks--check out all her suggestions for using free stuff at Starbucks! Elle is also great about answering beauty questions and interacting with her readers. I have no idea how she finds the time to do it all!

Soon to be Cat Lady blogs at Soon To Be Cat Lady. She shares hilarious stories of her adventures with online dating. Seriously, her blog has moved me to tears before... because I was laughing so hard.

Dana blogs at The World As Told By Dana. She writes about social issues, France, and personal reflections. She's teaching English in France next year, doing the same job I once did!

These are not all the blogs I follow, but they are my favorites. Yes, I have a lot of favorites. Just like I have a lot of best friends. That's how I roll!

Anyway, expect links to be included, along with pictures for each blogger, sometime May 6/7. But I am posting this, tweeting it, linking it up, and going to bed. Yes, the first thing I did this morning (May 6) is add pictures and links to this post. You're welcome.

Misbehaving and Making History

The fact that I'm blogging after getting less than seven hours of sleep and then working eight hours in the JCP salon just shows how motivated I am by Jenni's challenge to blog every day in May. Also, I get really annoyed by people who assume that everyone has the same sleep needs. You can make fun of my need to get eight hours of sleep every night when you have an incurable disease. Until then, shush. Finally, I was really tempted to put, "May the Force be with you" as my favorite quotation since today is May the Fourth, and everyone is hilariously tweeting "May the Fourth be with you." Also, one of my pet peeves is when people use the word quote, a VERB, when they mean quotation, a NOUN.
I have many favorite quotations. Some are biblical, like Galations 3:28 and Psalm 8:1-9. Others are song lyrics, like "Gonna dance until my feet can't feel the ground." But most of my favorite quotations, unsurprisingly, are by women and about women.

One of my pet peeves on twitter are misattributed quotations or worse--unattributed quotations. It's called google, people. Use it.

The second-to-last night with my three best friends in France, with our matching tattoos only 24 hours old.

I bet you thought Marilyn Monroe said that. Or Eleanor Roosevelt. I also bet you have no idea who Laurel Thatcher Ulrich even is.

If you're not well-versed in American women's history, then you don't really have a reason to know Laurel Thatcher Ulrich. On the other hand, I double-majored in history and French, and I concentrated (minored) in Women's and Gender Studies. Naturally my undergraduate courses led me to Laurel Thatcher Ulrich, a prominent historian of early American history and women's history.

When I was younger (read: pre-university), I didn't understand this quotation. I was very much your stereotypical goody-two-shoes who worked hard in school, held multiple leadership positions, attended church regularly, and genuinely got along with everyone. I took the opposite of "well-behaved" quite literally. Why would I misbehave? Why would I do something wrong?

I'm Uncomfortable When...

Linking up for the third day in a row. Y'all, we are already at some sort of record for Belle! Sorry this post isn't as exciting as the "Story of My Virginity" or the semi-erotic guide I wrote on consent.

I'm Uncomfortable When...

• Women wear the wrong size bra, especially if it gives them the four boobs look.
• I'm using public transportation by myself, and someone decides to sit down next to me, especially if other seats are available.
• Someone makes a racist or homophobic remark. It's so much harder for me to speak out against casual racism or homophobia, even though I'm very vocal about even the smallest signs of sexism.
• I forget to pack flats for a weekend trip, and I end up wearing heeled boots and sparkly wedges all weekend... aka when Rose and Landon got married.
• I wear a thong.
• The conversation turns to sex, and I'm with either my family or Beau's family.

What makes you uncomfortable? Are you participating in "Blog Every Day in May"? Share your links in the comments!

Story of My Virginity

The first thing I should say is I don't read Jenni's blog Story of My Life. The second thing I should say is that while I LOVE her challenge to focus on writing and not on stupid stuff, I almost always do the former and not the latter. Which would be why I only update about once a week. The third (and final!) thing I should say is that I have no intention of blogging every day, but participating in this might motivate me to blog more.

Jess and Casey both linked up for this, which is how I discovered it. I liked the challenge, but me being me, I decided to refocus the topic a bit. Make it more moi. So instead of writing 250 words on the story of my life, I give you 250 words on the story of my virginity.

I was nine when I first started thinking about sex. All I knew about sex was that a grown-up penis and a grown-up vagina touched each other. I imagined the penis nestled between the folds of the vagina like a hot dog in a bun.

I was ten or eleven when my mom gave H and me the “talk.” I still thought the idea of French-kissing was gross, and saving sex for marriage seemed like a great idea. You would have to be in love to do something that gross.

I was seventeen when I first wondered about maybe having sex before marriage. Primarily because I was flirting a lot with this guy, who I knew was a non-virgin. I still thought premarital sex was a sin, but I justified my reasoning by thinking of all the other sins that I committed constantly. Like lying and swearing. Having sex before marriage wasn’t any worse!

I was seventeen when I had my first orgasm.

I was nineteen when I had my first kiss, which turned into a steamy make-out session that included some below-the-waist touching (my waist, his touch). I spent the next month praying for forgiveness.

I was twenty-one when I took “Feminist Biblical Interpretation” and wondered if I should save sex for love, not marriage.

I forget my age when I returned to my original stance of saving sex for marriage, but this time, with the understanding that premarital sex wasn’t a sin.

And now I blog about virginity!

I came in at exactly 250 words. Aka I'm awesome.