It has come to my attention that many of y'all are on twitter, happily tweeting away about #virginprobz.
That is awesome. Way to go. It's refreshing not to be the only anon virgin twitter account (well, the boyfriend created an anon virgin twitter account too). I love reading y'all's tweets and hearing how y'all navigate our sex-centric society.
Unfortunately, I've also noticed a few... troubling themes among these virgin tweets. A potentially dangerous combination of judgement and naivete.
As the self-proclaimed matriarch of anon virgins, I would like to guide my fellow virgins, offering a few tips on tweeting about virginity.
1) Being a virgin does not make you better than anyone else. You are not less sinful, purer, kinder, more thoughtful, or smarter than nonvirgins. You, as an individual, might be better than an individual nonvirgin, but NOT because you have abstained from sex.
2) Similarly, having sex does not make you a bad person. Nonvirgins are not sluts or man-whores. They are people who have made different choices about sex than you or I have.
3) Only you get to define your virginity, AND you only get to define your own virginity. My boyfriend and I very much enjoy sexi time, but we're not engaging in coitus. We call ourselves virgins, and we don't give a fuck if you disagree. It's our virgin non-sex sex life, and no one else gets a say in how we interpret it.
4) Stop with the hymen myths. Please. This is not the Victorian Age.
5) You are allowed to change your mind about sex. This will not make you a hypocrite. I have held so many different ideas and goals and beliefs about sex, purity, and everything in-between. They have changed constantly over the last ten years. This makes me human, not hypocritical. Many of y'all are young, like, teenagers. It's great that you've decided to abstain from sex right now, but one day, you might feel differently. That's OKAY. As long as your first time is on your terms, and not because you feel pressured into it.
Classic scene from Clueless
At the end of the day, both virginity and sex are personal choices. It is very important to respect the choices of others, even when they're different than our own.