Tuesday, August 21, 2012

My Big Boobs, My Business

Tonight I want to discuss something near and dear to my heart… Literally.

Big boobs.

Teeny tiny ribcage, and my cups runneth over.

My boyfriend just unhooked my bra to encourage my writing. He’s so sweet like that.

I don’t just want to discuss big boobs. I want to discuss how people react to big boobs. How people treat those of us who have big boobs. How people can’t look past a bra size.

How people call me a slut when I show just a hint of cleavage.

Just an FYI for any new blog readers. I’m a virgin, so I’m pretty sure I am NOT a slut.

I had major writer’s block while working on this post the other night. After sleeping on it, I realized the source of my struggle.

Boobs are such a complex subject that I can’t just devote a single post to it. My thoughts were seriously all over the place. I went from ranting to discussing awesome bras to explaining my big-boobed perspective.

Tonight, I’m going to rant. I’ve written about slut-shaming before. Tonight, I’m writing about boob-shaming.

girls did you know that
Found all over the Internet; I used weknowmemes
I hate this meme, but I do love some of the reactions to it. Then last week, I very stupidly watched a video posted by the controversial anon BHDC on twitter, who did her own little “boobs in your shirt, not in your shirt.”

Am I the only one who’s noticed that the biggest critics of big boobs are the girls who don’t have any? Don’t get me wrong, small-chested women are just as beautiful as we big-boobed ladies.


They need to shut the fuck up about boobs.

Here’s a good rule of thumb for commenting on any topic ever.

Thou shalt not pass judgment if thou cannot understandeth.

Obsessed with Busty Girl Comics
I don’t tell people of color how to overcome racism… because I’m white. I don’t tell my twin brother “I know you feel” when he’s in the hospital… because I have Crohn’s disease, not brain cancer. I don’t tell my boyfriend how to do his job… because I’m not an engineer.

Since it’s near-fucking impossible to have “inappropriate” cleavage with small boobs, then don’t fucking tell those of us who have big boobs to keep our boobs in our shirt. Because you will NEVER fucking understand. Your incredibly male-gazed point-of-view on “appropriate” or “inappropriate” attire is based on a total misunderstanding of anything bigger than a B-cup. Seriously. The only women who ever had a problem with my cleavage were B-cups or A-cups.

I both love and hate the “Real Women Have Curves” campaign. I understand its purpose: to embrace women of all sizes, not just stick-thin models. But some women are naturally skinny, with few curves. They are beautiful too. They are real women. Their small boobs are still awesome, because boobs = awesome.

They just better shut their fucking mouths about my boobs.

Edit 01/26/2013: One of my many best friends pointed out that she understands what I mean by this, but someone who hasn't known me since freshman year might be confused and/or insulted. 

Let me clarify. Wearing a sexy, attention-getting top is perfect for Friday night. Not for Monday morning, or any time at work. Someone without big boobs is capable of understanding this distinction of when this top is (in)appropriate. Wearing a tube top to work is inappropriate because it's inappropriate, not because I show more cleavage in a tube top than the average woman.

However, this has NEVER been my problem, or the issue people take with me, and thus I didn't even realize clarification was needed. If you can wear my cleavage-baring button-up blouse, but in your size, to our job, then I can too. Hence my inclusion of the Busty Girl comic. And that is the kind of judgment I receive. For wearing the same styles that my beautiful, but small-busted best friend might wear.


  1. This was a great article, and I agree with everything you said. I've noticed a lot of the same things you have, too. Honestly, this whole stigma against big breasted women is so ingrained in our society, that I doubt it's ever going away anytime soon. But it's good to see more people becoming aware of the fact that there's nothing wrong with having big boobs, the same way that there's nothing wrong with having dark hair/skin, freckles, a pointy nose, or anything else you were born with.

    For whatever reason, breasts have become sexualized in our society (and most societies of the modern world), despite the fact that they're not genitalia. Because of that, the more noticeable they are (and anything is more noticeable if it's bigger), the more someone who has them will be associated with sex. And that's a problem. I wish more people realized the same things you do, but like you said (and I've noticed it, too), it's mostly small-breasted women (and there's nothing wrong with small breasts, either, of course) that are always opposed to anything and everything having to do with larger breasts.

    1. Exactly! Breasts are so sexualized that it's hard for people to separate the two. I don't know where I first read this, so warning, not an original thought, but I think this is why so many people get reallllly offended by women breast-feeding in public. Even though the biological purpose of breasts is for nurturing babies, seeing breasts in a non-sexual manner is now considered inappropriate. Ridiculous, but true.

  2. I have that annoying size that in a low cut looks small even with a push up and with a normal neck or turtle neck shirt looks like giant melons even without bra. It's a lost cause for me.

  3. It's depressing how often I get lectured on what types of tops I can wear as a bigger-busted woman by instructors, or even the power of large, dangly necklaces to hide cleavage. I hate those bulky things, but they're encouraged because it's unprofessional for me to have a chest in psychology. I kind of understand since I want to work with criminals, but at the same time, none of my peers get the same lectures. *twitch*

    1. That sounds so frustrating. Just because you have a different body type doesn't mean you should be body-policed.

      In my first "real" job (Waldenbooks), I sometimes wore scarves to hide my cleavage. Our dress code was pretty informal, but since my t-shirts all had writing on them (dress code no-no), I wore nicer tops, which still showed cleavage. No one ever said anything to me about it at work, but I was paranoid.

      I work part-time at JCP right now, and we're moving back to business casual, gargh. I'm waiting to jump down the throat of the first manager who talks to me about my clothes. It hasn't happened yet, though, so my fingers are crossed.

  4. Bunny Themelis explains why why this kind of boob-shaming from men and women has to stop: http://killingthebreeze.com/boob-shaming/

  5. I deal with people always trying to hook up with me cause they assume my big boobs mean I have a lot of sex. I'm actually a virgin looking for a nice guy. However, the nice guys assume I am overly sexual and therefore dangerous and don't come near me either. So while I deny all the hook up requests, the nice guys act cautiously towards me. It's not my fault that I have big boobs and some guys feel sexually attracted. I did not purposely incur that kind of response and I'm irritated that I have to deal with this weird conundrum of circumstance.

  6. I am frustrated because guys assume my big boobs mean I am a slut, and therefore try to hook up a lot, (I am a virgin who just wants to find a nice guy). Meanwhile, the nice guys treat me cautiously because they think I am too overly sexualized to be a "nice" girl. So I get tons of hookup requests and no nice guys who will approach me like a normal person. It makes me irritated. I should not have to be stigmatized as a slut when I've never even had sex. It's not my fault that some men see the giant globules of fat, meant to feed babies, as purely sexual playthings. Not okay. I'm tired of being treated differently and not being allowed to be the "good" girl because my boobs are a G


Thanks for reading and commenting!

Anonymous commenting disabled while my mom is sick.

Comments are moderated because I receive a lot of spam, and I think CAPTCHA is annoying. I reply to most of your comments within the comment section because it inspires discussion between readers. For first-time commenters, I try to reply by email.

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