tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4487897975553552090.post6218390079632617965..comments2024-02-06T10:29:58.974-05:00Comments on Finding My Virginity: Virgin TipsAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09711743439868985297noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4487897975553552090.post-45616546422686314072013-05-11T23:35:38.153-04:002013-05-11T23:35:38.153-04:00Oh, sweetie. I don't even know where to begin ...Oh, sweetie. I don't even know where to begin with you.<br /><br />1) Calling myself the "matriarch of virgins" was a joke--duh. I've had an anon virgin twitter account since July 2011, and suddenly in August 2012, all these other anon virgin twitter accounts popped up, by mostly high school teenagers who thought they were sooo impressive for having not had sex. Like it's that hard to abstain at 15.<br /><br />2) Sexual "purity" /=/ virginity /=/ abstinence. The first one, which, you know, I've ALSO blogged about, is maintaining a certain level of sexual abstinence before marriage. Even figuring out this line is based on an individual. Someone commented on my blog the other day that she and her boyfriend keep hands above the waist, kissing above the neck, all clothes on. I know a couple who didn't even kiss until their wedding day. Virginity is a social construct based on the idea of having not done something yet. Not done what? Not had sex. But what is sex? So, yes, there is not a single definition of virginity. (Sexual) abstinence is an intentional choice to abstain from a certain sexual activity or activities during a certain period of time. Non-virgins can choose to be abstinent for a period in their life. For example, I read an article on xojane the other day about an abstinent Christian man after getting divorced. <br /><br />3) Maybe the point of YOUR virginity is... Actually, I'm not really sure why you've decided to be celibate. MY virginity is because I want to share coitus with only my husband. It's a specific sexual act that holds a lot of meaning for me both from a religious sense "two become one" and from a biological sense, the possibility of procreation. It is a very intentional choice that I made after a lot of deliberation. <br /><br />4) The phrase "slut-shaming" is controversial, I will grant you that. Some women find it empowering. They have reclaimed the word slut as a positive declaration of sexual independence. Others think we need a better phrase to express "judging a woman for her sexuality." But "judging a woman for her sexuality" isn't catchy, and no one has come up to a good alternative to "slut-shaming," so that's what I use.<br /><br />Also, you should consider your tone if you don't want people to think you're judgmental and stuck up.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09711743439868985297noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4487897975553552090.post-85732237316409836712013-05-11T22:38:59.578-04:002013-05-11T22:38:59.578-04:00Wait #3? So if everyone defines virginity differen...Wait #3? So if everyone defines virginity differently than what are you trying to make it mean? No vagina but everything else is ok? If you suck cock but call yourself a virgin or take anal but call yourself a virgin or get naked to make out you are defeating the entire point of virginity. Virginity is hard because there are so many avenues to becoming sexually active that you have to be strong enough to wait on. I just don't understand the notion of a cock-sucking-virgin or the like so I just can't take this blog seriously or you seriously as the 'matriarch of virgins' because we don't have the same experiences...at all. <br /><br />Lastly, if feminists are promoting the sexual habits of women as a positive thing who invented the term slut-shaming? Why use a derogatory word in defense of sexual choice and liberty? That's like abolitionists saying don't nigger-hate. If you are advocating for them why use a derogatory word at all toward them? That's like saying you agree that they are sluts but don't guilt them for it. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4487897975553552090.post-72967249421139038732012-09-11T19:34:20.368-04:002012-09-11T19:34:20.368-04:00I'm guessing you replied from your phone and i...I'm guessing you replied from your phone and it autocorrected something to "bad poisons"?<br /><br />Anyway, yeah, I wrote this in response to a troubling trend among virgin accounts. LOTS of slut-shaming. I didn't even get into the bigger issue of judging your self-worth by your virginity. <br /><br />I love your blog. I don't wear much make-up, I rotate the same handful of hairstyles, and my skin doesn't need much maintenance--thus, I don't comment often. But I read every single one of your posts. :) And I've linked it to my beauty-conscious friends.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09711743439868985297noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4487897975553552090.post-78194921391895789662012-09-11T09:02:34.123-04:002012-09-11T09:02:34.123-04:00I really agree with everything you say here. Being...I really agree with everything you say here. Being a virgin does not make you better than anyone else, nor doebad poisons having sex make you bad! and thanks for your commentsElle Seeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01700861489513811406noreply@blogger.com