I've been thinking about this blog for several weeks now, ever since my friends and I shared our sex stats, and I had to confess my virginity. After considering several topics for my latest post, I've decided to “start at the very beginning, a very good place to start...”
The first time I kissed a boy I was 19.
I know what you're thinking. “No wonder she's a virgin...”
I wanted my first kiss to be special. So many of my friends had random, inconsequential first kisses, often with guys who didn't care about them. I have a twin brother, and he was quite the ladies' man in high school. I heard plenty of stories about his conquests (and those of his friends). We were young and immature and if a naïve girl fell for him after her first kiss, well, c'est la vie. He might have broken quite a few hearts on the path to graduation, but at least he saved mine by sharing his wild tales. I refused to be another statistic, another notch on the bedpost, whatever. My first kiss was going to mean something, damn it, even if I had to wait a long time.
I'm so glad I waited.
I was home for Easter break my sophomore year of undergrad. Joe*, my best guy friend of five years, was spending the weekend with us, and I hadn't seen him since Christmas, I think. One night, after a nice family dinner out, he and I were hanging out, just the two of us. The rest of my family had all gone to bed. Joe and I watched some stupid reruns on late night TV. Then we looked up stupid things on wikipedia. We've always been very comfortable physically around each other, so we were just being silly and elbowing each other and borderline cuddling on and off for hours.
We started calming down around 2am or 3am. We were sitting on the couch together, and he laid down. I laid down next to him, and he just held me for a few minutes. Both of us were half-asleep at this point, and I teased him for falling asleep on me. I could see where this was heading, so I took my glasses off under some transparent guise. We were still talking quietly, and he started softly stroking my back. We were flirting, and sometimes I would touch his face. I started playing with the hair at the nape of his neck, and he kissed me.
… … …
We finally stopped around 5am, rather hot and sweaty at that point. My shirt was unbuttoned, my bra was shoved down, and my skirt was bunched around my waist.
My first kiss was a two-hour make out session. Yeah, it was still just hooking up, but it was with my best friend. I don't regret it at all. I was with someone I loved, someone I trusted. And it was hot. ;)
So why would I rush into sex? I waited for my first kiss, and it was everything I'd anticipated and more.
*Not his real name
Hi!
ReplyDeleteCame across your blog. Looks very interesting to me since I am a virgin too, among all my friends I'm the only one 'not touched'. But not by choice, rather, like you, but by circumstance. Still waiting for that special one...
Worse still, still waiting for my first kiss! (And I am 26). Yes, I know, hard to believe. By looking at me, I guess, people wouldn't assume I have never kissed, but that's the story of my life. Although, in my defence, I have to say I have kissed in my dreams when sleeping :D
Always wanted to have a special first kiss. Stll have some hope. But even to me now it seems weird, being 26 years old and not having been kissed. Guys have tried to do this to me but I always resisted as I didn't like them that much to want to kiss them...
Some of my girlfriends, all out of college, have never been kissed. For them, at least, it's a combination of choice and circumstance. Like, if they lowered their standards (and none of them are insanely picky), they could find guys who would kiss them. But they also want a special first kiss.
DeleteNo one likes to admit being a kissing virgin, but I promise, you're not alone!
Thanks for commenting. I hope you can relate to some of my other posts too.
(And if you'd ever like to share your perspective with a guest post... that would totally be welcomed here! See my top left sidebar for deets).