The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly: I'm a Size 2

The Good: Saturday I start training for my new part-time job as the “Front Desk Specialist” at the JC Penney salon near where I work my full-time job. The extra money from working 15 hours a week will be nice, but I’m mostly excited about the health care benefits. I’m still on my parents’ insurance, but I know I cost them a lot of money. Plus, since I no longer live in the South, I’m out-of-network. Getting my own health insurance will be life-changing.

Of course, dress will be a little different than my current job, where I show up in jeans and a hoodie most days. For my new job, dress code is business casual, in a black, white, and gray color scheme. This would have been a problem for me during my pre-French days, but my current winter wardrobe is pretty dark after absorbing Parisian fashion. I have several cute tops that will all be suitable.

The Bad: However, the only appropriate bottoms I own are two identical black pencil skirts. A pair of nice black slacks was definitely in order. Thus tonight my best friend and former roommate/co-intern, Lauren, and I hit up The Loft, a store we both adore. We had both received an email this week announcing 60% off sale items and 30% off new arrivals. Perfect!

Their petites section had two different styles of slacks. I tried them both on, and Lauren & I agreed one was better than the other. I purchased them along with three black/white/gray tops that were all on sale. I dropped $100 on the whole purchase, which isn’t too bad considering I bought only quality work clothes, but isn't great when you're trying to save money.

The Ugly: I’m a size 2. For the first time since I was 16.

I’m a size 2 because I still haven’t gained back the weight I lost in November. I’m a size 2 because I was sick. I’m a size 2 because I might still be sick.

I know it’s hard to believe, especially for my readers struggling with weight loss, but being unable to gain weight is terrifying. It is worse than trying to lose weight. I should know. Past treatment for Crohn’s has caused me to gain weight, and I hated the struggle of working out & eating well just to maintain an “average” body. But it was never as bad as trying to gain weight.

I can’t even feel vain about being skinny. I lost my ass! It was never a big booty, but it was always nice and proportional to the rest of my curves. It’s almost flat now. My boobs are less full too, although, let’s be honest, they are still the envy of women everywhere and the fantasy of many men.

Please, dear God, let me gain 5 lbs. Please, dear God, let me be healthy again. I can’t be sick again.

I just can’t.

New Year, New Apartment, New Belle

Wow, it's 2013 already. When did that happen?

2012 was crazy. Just like 2011. And 2010.

In 2012, I lived in New York for the first two months, then Toronto for four months, home in the South for three weeks, and finally in the Midwest for five months, with a whole week of that being in my new apartment.

I went from being a live-in au pair to doing social media and assorted IT stuff for a start-up company. Yeah, I'm still confused about that too.

The boyfriend and I went from very long-distance (an airplane) to long-distance (a six-hour drive) to medium-distance (driving two hours!).

My twin brother was diagnosed with a brain tumor that miraculously went away with surgery.

My car died. I became an emotional wreck. The boyfriend gave me a car for Christmas. I finally figured out humility. 

Both my twitter followers and blog readers grew by leaps and bounds. I expanded my blog posts a little bit. I don't always talk about only virginity. I write about books, and feminism, and family, and sex, and politics, and fun stuff like that. 

I even GULP participated in a giveaway.* You know, one of those shameless promotions to gain followers who sometimes keep following you, but often unfollow you when the giveaway is over? You know, one of those fun things where you can be generous to other people?

Awesome giveaway hosted by Bonnie!

I even survived the Apocalypse!

I live a crazy life. It's how I roll. I'm pretty sure 2013 will be just as up and down as my previous years. Some changes I can anticipate. Others will be unexpected challenges.

For my readers, you'll notice a few changes. I'm not going to focus as much on only blogging about sex/virginity. I did expand some this past year, but I feel more comfortable now writing like a real blogger, and not just some funny academic essayist. Of course, this is partly because I will be writing a column for HI! Magazine. A funny academic essayist column on virginity. So... there's that.

As much as I will strive to keep up my 3-7 posts a month range I've got going on, I can't make any promises. See, another change I'm (hopefully) making is getting a second part-time job for a little extra spending money... plus health insurance. This will eat into my writing time. 

That, and my only New Year's resolution is to read Les Misérables. En français. Also, my non-resolution, just regular goal of reading 53 books this year. I read 51 last year, with a goal of 52. Reading is important.

Edit: I totally forgot to mention one of the biggest changes. I didn't just move into a new apartment--I moved into my first apartment without a roommate. Turning it into my own little home will also be totally time-consuming.

All that said, big changes are in store for Belle and Beau** in 2013. Who knows, we might even experience coitus for the first time.***

Whatever happens, I'll be here, blogging away. This is, after all...

Confessions of a Virgin. 

*When the boyfriend donated to How to Lose Your Virginity, our prize packages included two cherry pendants. I gave one away. I briefly reached 51 blog followers by participating--I'm down to 48 now. But. I'm following one young woman who followed me and gave me crazy-awesome compliments on my blog. Genna's super-cool.
**If you're new here, that's me and the boyfriend.
***Kidding. Mostly. 

Emulating the Virgin Mary

I’ve always loved Advent. Church at Christmastime has always been my favorite. I love the Bible passages predicting the Messiah. I love the Advent wreath. I love singing Christmas Carols, especially “Silent Night.” Most of all, I love the Christmas story.

“[Joseph] went to be registered with Mary, to whom he was engaged and who was expecting a child. ⁶ While they were there, the time came for her to deliver her child. ⁷ And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in bands of cloth, and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn.” Luke 2: 5-7, NSRV

As many pastors have pointed out over the years, Jesus was born in a barn. Surrounded by animals. To an unwed teenage girl. With only dirty shepherds to celebrate his birth.

Mary didn’t have her mother to hold her hand, or an epidural, or sanitary conditions, or even a midwife. Mary had nothing but her fiancé Joseph and her faith in God.

God chose the insignificant Virgin Mary to give birth to the Son of God, under the humblest of conditions. To this day, the Church recognizes humility as an admirable trait to embody.

Dying a Virgin

According to the Mayan calendar, the Apocalypse is coming. Or something. It’s the end of the world as we know it, right?

If this were a movie, and if my boyfriend were a jerk, he would have already tried this timeless trope on me:

Do you want to die a virgin?

I understand why this works in movies. Sex is almost always the eventual goal of romantic entanglements; maintaining abstinence is rarely lauded as an accomplishment. Add in the extra drama of a life or death situation, and suddenly even the reluctant romantic lead feels enticed to do the deed.

But this isn’t a movie, and my boyfriend is not only totally awesome, but also a virgin like I am. 

Some critics might think we haven’t really “lived” because we’ve never had coitus, but I beg to differ. Call me crazy, but I think there is more to living life to the fullest than engaging in intercourse.

Vacationing in Nice on a regular basis (four times over two years) is WAY better than sex.

If the world really does end soon (it won’t), then what will I regret?

• Not having traveled more (even though I’ve traveled a lot for my age)
• Not having published a book (even though I’ve shared my writing with friends, family, and the Internet)
• Not having done more on my list of 101 Things in 1001 Days (but I’ve done quite a few!)
• Not having read more books (despite the vast number I have read)

The more I think about it, the more I realize I’m already living my life to the fullest. If the Apocalypse happens, will I regret dying a virgin?

Yes and no.

I will regret never having had the privilege of being a mother, which, you know, often comes about from having sex, but I could never regret staying true to myself and my beliefs.

Besides.

My life has been so awesome and so full of MOI that it’s impossible for me to live—or die—with any true regrets.

I might die a virgin, but most people will die having never lived near Paris. Bam!

Even More Virgin Search Keywords

I just...

I have no words.

Um. I'm sorry I don't write porn?

Although according to my bestie and to my roommate, my writing is sometimes a little on the hot side.

But it's still far from erotica.

Sorry?

P.S. I think you meant "sexiEst virgins of 2012" and "belle vIErge." Am I the only person left on the Interwebz who can spell?

Previous keyword searches found Here, There, and also Here.