Sorry, that was a gender generalization, which I normally try really hard not to make.
But as much as I see anons tweeting quotations from Mean Girls, I rarely see much discussion about what we can learn from the movie.
The definition of sex has become rather broad and often confusing in today's American culture. Even
this asshole our former president doesn't seem to get it.
But our society is obsessed with it, and as a self-proclaimed virgin who blogs about sex, virginity, and everything in-between, I'm not exactly helping de-emphasize the "importance" of the distinction.
But I AM provoking discussion and sparking debate and challenging preconceived notions of virgins.
Last Friday, I went to a sex shop for the first time ever (and then applied to work there). Naturally, I tweeted about the experience before blogging about it. The reaction was... mixed, to say the least.
Some friends thought this was a brilliant idea. Like me, they thought it would provide great inspiration for my blog.
Or like me, they thought sex toys were a positive thing for women to enjoy, either with or without a partner.
Some friends thought I should I admit my sexual experiences make me less than virginal.
And others questioned if I'm honestly a virgin at all.
I might not have enjoyed the entire discussion, and at one point, so many followers were jumping in that I could no longer keep up with my timeline.
Not only was it eye-opening, but it proved that there is an ongoing need for my blog, with all my thoughts on sex and virginity.
There is still a prevailing attitude that virginity means the exact same thing for everyone.
If we can't agree on the definition of sex, then how can anyone expect us to agree on virginity?
Which brings me back to my first point.
Does it even matter?
Sexuality is incredibly personal. Yet, for whatever reason (I'm blaming patriarchy), sex is very much in the public eye. Between those trying to control sex and those trying to exploit sex, anyone trying to figure out their sexuality on their own has public pressure adding to their confusion.
To anyone in the gray zone between sex and virginity, to anyone like me, this is my advice.
It's your body, your experiences, you sexuality, your label.
I started this blog before I had ever owned a vibrator, or seen a man naked, or participated in skype sex. I guess you could say I was "more virginal" when I started this blog than I am today.
The boyfriend and I have drawn our line at coitus, or PIV sex. We're saving that for marriage. Until then, we'll both refer to ourselves as virgins, because we can, but we also both know the label no longer matters.
At the end of the day, we're a young couple in love, and we're making choices about our relationship based on our own happiness, not anyone else's.